IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #care #employees #dress #matters #quality #work
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As far as some individuals are concerned, employers should focus primarily on the
quality
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 of
employees
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’
work
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 rather than their attire. I totally agree with
this
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 view, because
employees
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 feel comfortable in the workplace.
Additionally
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, they know that they will be evaluated based on their abilities and not their looks or
clothes
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. On the one hand, when
employees
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 are comfortable in their workplaces by wearing the
clothes
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 they like and are not under stress, it leads to an improvement in
work
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quality
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 and increases
overtime
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over time
show examples
.
For example
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, when
employees
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 are forced to wear formal attire,
such
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 as a suit and tie, in the summer heat
while
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 having demanding jobs, they feel uncomfortable in their
clothes
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 and wish for the workday to end sooner so they can go back home,
therefore
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 only they complete their tasks to a certain extent to receive their pay, without making progress or being creative.
As a result
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, become uninspired and unmotivated.
Thus
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work
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quality
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 should be prioritized over the clothing of
employees
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.
On the other hand
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, it is essential that
employees
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 understand that they will be evaluated on the basis of the
quality
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 of their
work
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, and not their appearance or
clothes
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.
However
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, it is important that
employees
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 adhere to the social dress code established by the company's public relations to ensure a professional and respectful
work
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 environment.
For example
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, the
clothes
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 they wear for parties and at home should not be worn at
work
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 and they should show up neat and tidy.
Furthermore
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, when
employees
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 feel that their skills and abilities are valued and not just their appearance, they are more motivated to perform well and take pride in their
work
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, which ultimately leads to improved productivity and better results. since they know, it doesn’t matter which they
clothes
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 wear or how they are perceived matters is their
quality
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 and effectiveness of
work
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. In conclusion, focusing on the
quality
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 of
employees
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'
work
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 for employers is more important than paying attention to their clothing.
This
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 is based on reasons
such
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 as
employees
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' comfort, which can lead to increased
work
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quality
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.
As well as
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 the importance of being evaluated on their abilities and skills, rather than their appearance.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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task achievement
While your essay remains focused on the topic, there are areas where further elaboration and development of ideas would be beneficial. For instance, providing a broader range of examples or diving deeper into the consequences of dress code policies could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay generally supports your argument, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Work on making your argument flow more coherently from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that all sentences logically connect to support that idea. This will make your essay easier to follow and enhance its overall coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
relevant specific examples
The examples you provided are relevant and support your main points, adding credibility to your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have presented your ideas clearly, making it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • professional attire
  • workplace culture
  • productivity
  • branding
  • perception
  • creativity
  • equality
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • first impressions
  • freedom of expression
  • quality of work
  • skill set
  • professionalism
  • comfort
  • clientele
  • stakeholders
  • competence
  • formal attire
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