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Band 6

the chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.

the chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.
#information #amount #time #children #parents
The above bar charts
represents
Change the verb form
represent
show examples
 the data of total
time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 by
children
 with their parents. The
illustartions
Correct your spelling
illustrations
illustration
 suggest the given information is divided
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 three categories with
time
 in hours mentioned on
y-axis
Add an article
the y-axis
show examples
.
Overall
, the graphs show
an entirely different trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
entirely different trends
an entirely different trend
show examples
 when coming to weekdays and
weekends
. During weekdays, the
together
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
time
 of parents with their
kids
 is much
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
whereas
 on
weekends
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 higher. On
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average
Add a comma
average,
show examples
 the mother spends almost 2 to 7 hours every day with their
children
 irrespective of what day it is.
However
,
father
Correct article usage
the father
show examples
 looked like the least
interacted
Replace the word
interactive
show examples
 person with the kid. Apart from that, with
Add a comma
dad,
show examples
dad
Capitalize word
Dad
show examples
 the
kids
 showed
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very little leisure
time
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 mom seems more close
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
.
In addition
 to that on
weekends
,
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 4 pm to 5
pm
Add a comma
pm,
show examples
kids
 are more active.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 mom looks
an
Change preposition
like an
show examples
 inevitable person in
children
's life
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 during weekdays.
In contrast
, both mom and dad seem to be much closer to
kids
 during
weekends
.
Submitted by praneeth2094 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, children, weekends, kids with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
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