Some people say that competitive sports have advantages for people from different groups and countries, while others believe that competitive sports only create problems between people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is universally accepted that competition in sports can have various advantages for several types of groups and nations.
However
, there are those who argue that this
action leads to crucial issues among individuals. This
essay will examine both perspectives and outline supporting reasons throughout the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, it is worth considering that there are many benefits to competitive sports to consider. The initial matter to be mentioned is that sport has become a business; most sportsmen utilise their talents to make a salary for themselves, especially in football games. When these athletes need to compete with others, it may build enjoyment and money from viewers. Moreover
, creating a reputation for those countries is usually organised by administrations and governments, leading to the Olympic Games. Thus
, this
action leads to countries' income, whether entrance fees or economic growth.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that conflicting with numerous competitors can be an obvious example of this
. One of the main reasons is that more and more competitors tend to be selfish and rude people, even with the level of stress they experience, which contributes them to paying more attention to their games than interacting with other players. However
, I believe that it is not only a way to create problems with individuals, but also
injuries to those players such
as mental and physical health.
In conclusion, even though sports competition provides benefits and drawbacks, Those problems bring about several factors. From my point of view, I reckon that these sportsmen give many benefits to watchers and authorities.Submitted by sasinipapj on
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Language Usage
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay flows smoothly by using a wider range of linking words and phrases for a more cohesive argument.
Supporting Details
Develop your examples further to provide a clearer and more detailed explanation of your points, particularly when discussing the impacts of competitive sports.
Content Depth
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Task Response
You successfully addressed both views and provided your own opinion, aligning well with the essay prompt.
Essay Structure
The structure of the essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively presents your argument.
Topic Coherence
Good effort in linking the main ideas in each paragraph to the overall topic of competitive sports.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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