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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the persantage of four different types of feul in use between thw years 1800 and 2000

The line graph shows the persantage of four different types of feul in use between thw years 1800 and 2000
The line graph gives information about how much fuel ,namely wood ,coal , oil,
gas
Correct word choice
and gas
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 used .
Overe
Correct your spelling
Over
Use synonyms
three
Add a hyphen
three-year
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 period between 1800 and 2000
Overall
Linking Words
 , the four fuels used
differnd
Correct your spelling
different
differed
 trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
 the
utilise
Change the verb form
utilised
show examples
 oil, coal,
gas
Correct word choice
and gas
show examples
 rose with some fluctuations , the
spend
Change the verb form
spent
show examples
 wood sharply
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
. But
three
Use synonyms
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 only
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 during the
three
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
. As the graph shows , wood was
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 started at 100
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in 1800 followed by a big decline
just
Change preposition
of just
show examples
 over 0
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
et
Correct your spelling
at
show examples
 the end of
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 in
2000
Change the article
the 2000
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 . Regarding coal
use
Add a comma
use,
show examples
 0
stronges
Correct your spelling
strongest
matchest
Correct your spelling
matches
show examples
 in 1800.
Then
Linking Words
 , it
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 25% in 1850. But
also
Linking Words
 grow about 50 years .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 in
1900
Add a comma
1900,
show examples
 it was
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
, in 200
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
it was
usage
Replace the word
used
show examples
 33. As for oil started at 0 in
1900
Change the article
the 1900
show examples
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, but that figure only
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 and again
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 was rose 30% in
2000
Change the article
the 2000
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 . Turning to gas it began
also
Linking Words
0
Change preposition
at 0
show examples
%
however
Linking Words
 it was rapidly jump from 0% to 30%
at the end
Linking Words
 of
year
Use synonyms
By contrast
Linking Words
 ,
three
Use synonyms
 types of fuel
rosed
Change the form of the verb
rose
show examples
 from 1800 to 2000

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, at the end".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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