If a product is good or it meet people's needs, people will buy it. Advertising is no more than a form of entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#product #people #form #entertainment

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Some

people

opine that advertisement is no longer useful,

due to

the

people

's demand.

However

, others state the opposite of opinion on it. For me, advertising is still very useful, and I will elaborate

Change preposition

on it

show examples

in the following paragraphs. To start with, because of advertisements,

people

know these products or services. Without doing

this

, there are many

people

who do not realize those

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and would like to buy them.

For example

, I will not go to an English cram school

for learning

Change preposition

to learn

show examples

a language, if I do not see the promotion on TV.

Furthermore

, it is beneficial for me, because my English abilities are improving, and I can use them on my job. In order to attract the potential customers, business owners should have to do it. Another important factor is that asking celebrities to be our spokespeople is very powerful, because they have so many fans, and most of them are willing to purchase our merchandise.

For instance

, Taylor Swift has billions of fans in the world. They put a lot of money

for

Change preposition

into

show examples

attending to a single concern of her. If they give money to one of our goods,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

we will have plenty of revenue.

This

is incredible.

As a result

, we can not ignore the money we can earn from it. In a nutshell, good advertisements can draw others' attention, and

people

will try them if they need them. On top of that, famous

people

's suggestions are good, because they are trusted by others, and they will consider doing that.

Submitted by edward300225 on Sat Apr 20 2024

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Task Response

Ensure that your essay has a clear opinion throughout, directly addressing the prompt. It's important to maintain a consistent perspective on the topic.

Language Use

Consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enrich your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Development and Support

Work on developing your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. While you provided some examples, deeper analysis and more specific details would strengthen your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use cohesive devices and paragraphs more effectively to organize your ideas. Clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader through your arguments.

Structure

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.

Task Response

Your essay maintains a focus on the relevance and impact of advertising, closely relating to the task prompt.

Examples

You effectively used examples, like Taylor Swift's influence, to support your arguments, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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