IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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There is
ongoing
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an ongoing
the ongoing
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 discourse on whether
individuals
Use synonyms
 face the need for too many
choices
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 in
this
Linking Words
 era. Some people might disagree with
this
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;
however
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, I firmly believe that living in
this
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 era requires
individuals
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 to opt for various aspects for two reasons. First and foremost, with the advance of the internet,
individuals
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, able to access numerous
information
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 sources easily, are likely to become confused when making decisions. Technological devices offer
individuals
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 the opportunity to search for
information
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 wherever they are.
However
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,
this
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 may lead to confusion about how to select genuine
information
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.
For example
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, when students plan to study English, there are various ways to study,
such
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 as taking online speaking lessons, using paper textbooks, or studying by themselves.
Although
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 there are many successful stories of gaining English skills online,
this
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 abundance of
options
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 may cause students to hesitate
due to
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 the many
choices
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 available. In
this
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 regard, being exposed to too much
information
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 likely leads to having too many
choices
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 for
individuals
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 in
this
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 technological era.
Furthermore
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, the introduction of fast food may lead
individuals
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 to be more concerned with health issues. With an increase in the consumption of fast food and rising obesity rates, people are often forced to choose ingredients that are healthier.
For example
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, people who used to be overweight need to choose healthy foods to stay slim.
However
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, they often feel overwhelmed as there are various
options
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 for both unhealthy and healthy foods. Because of
this
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,
individuals
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 must choose among too many
options
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 in daily life. Today, we have more
choices
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 than ever before in everything from what we eat to the gadgets we use.
This
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 has sparked a debate about whether having so many
options
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 is helpful or just overwhelming.
This
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 essay will discuss the impact of these numerous
choices
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 on our daily lives.
Submitted by imagelim329 on

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conclusion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear progression of ideas. However, make sure to include a distinct conclusion to summarize your points more explicitly and reinforce your argument.
linking phrases
To enhance coherence, try to link your ideas more seamlessly, using a variety of linking phrases that show the relationship between your points.
examples
While your examples are relevant and support your argument well, adding more specific examples or data could strengthen your points further.
focus
The essay presents a clear argument and maintains focus on the topic throughout, effectively addressing the question.
vocabulary
You effectively use a range of vocabulary to express your thoughts, which makes your argument more compelling.
structure
The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a semi-distinct conclusion, makes your argument easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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