IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

In society, life has changed a great deal, especially in smoking. It includes smoking in public
places
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. Some
people
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 believe that smoking in all public
places
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 is fine,
while
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 others lose their freedoms.
Thus
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, smoking in all public
places
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 has many significant
points
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.
This
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 assay will provide key information to support the topic in both views. On the one hand, in terms of disagreements,
according to
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 Public Publish reports, there are several harmful marks.
Moreover
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, 90% of
people
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 disagree with smoking in all areas.
This
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 increases the
level
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 of diseases and other health problems.
For example
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, heart problems are the most common problem.
Also
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, it breaks down the blood
level
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 and damages the iron .
As a result
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, the
level
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 of death increased dramatically.
Also
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,
pollution
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 is another important reason. Weather
pollution
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 and farm
pollution
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 are the best examples.
Finally
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, the
points
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 support the disagreement ideas.
On the other hand
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, in terms of agreements,
according to
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 Kuwait College Studies, there are limited benefits.
Firstly
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, nowadays, during smoking time, the mood is the most important point.
This
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 means when local
people
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 smoke in a free area, they feel quiet.
Moreover
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, they feel more perfect in the public area.
Second,
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smoking decreases the
level
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 of overthinking and increases the rate of happy time.
Also
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, smoking in public
places
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 decreases the
pollution
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 of rooms.
This
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 makes the area save.
Finally
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,the
points
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 support the agreement tips. In conclusion,
according to
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 the given data, in terms of agreements and disagreements, there are several benefits.
However
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, there are hard tips. The government recommend local
people
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 follow the right
points
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 for a positive outcome and a better life

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Task response
Say clearly in the opening if you agree or not, then give 2 or 3 clear reasons.
Coherence and cohesion
Make one clear idea in each paragraph and link them with simple words like first, also, but, and finally.
Coherence and cohesion
Give small, real examples that fit the point you make.
Language use
Check grammar and miss of words. Use simple, short sentences.
Content
The essay tries to talk about both sides.
Structure
It has an opening, body and ending.
Content
Two body parts show some points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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