Nowadays, instead of locally sourced produce, many supermarkets sell a variety of foods imported from countries all across the world. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In
comtempory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
societies, there has been an uprising trend of selling imported
food
rather than local
porducts
Correct your spelling
products
in many supermarkets worth considering.
This
writer strongly assumes that the drawbacks of the increase in the
cost
of living and the growth of
unemployment
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
the benefit of the quality of
food
. It's important to acknowledge that the availability of
food
from external nations has an adverse impact on the individual financial burden
as well as
the rise in the
cost
of living.
This
is because the import taxation in many communities is extremely high for the reason of protection of their domestic markets.
However
, the majority of young people are curious and ambitious to purchase trendy and unique items, leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization.
As a consequence
, the
cost
of urban life rises dramatically, followed by the tendency of citizens’ demands and requirements, contributing to various social problems.
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
disadvantageous factor of importing
food
instead
of local sources is that
this
would cause the loss of occupations for many people.
In other words
, the more
food
is imported to sell in those countries, the fewer jobs are to do on account of a decrease in demand for locally produced
food
. Unless
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
great number of their products are bought in the national market like in the past, the amount of work for localists will
alleviate
Wrong verb form
be alleviated
show examples
and they will be redundant and fired
while
they cannot find any other
carreers
Correct your spelling
careers
carriers
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do.
For
this
reason, the rate of
unemployment
worldwide has increased, which the governments have to take action to address.
Thus
, making
circumstance
Correct article usage
the circumstance
show examples
of
unemployment
worse and worse during the integration of foreign
food
. Some critics,
nevertheless
, believe that imported
food
being high-quality is the most crucial essence compared to other factors. There's no doubt that health is a major concern for many people today, leading to a preference for imported
food
, which is often perceived as being of higher quality.
This
may be true, but
this
adaptation would destroy the national cuisine and traditional
food
making it the best to control
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
economy by producing and transporting external products. As a repercussion, it must be noticed that the biodiversity of culture will turn into other traditions on the grounds of the disappearance of local
food
as well as
the extinction of traditional
food
producers. To recapitulate, the potential impacts on good
food
quality
are outweighed
Wrong verb form
outweigh
show examples
the negative downsides of the increasing metropolitan living
cost
and the acute situation of
unemployment
.
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that authorities globally take
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
in prioritizing promoting locally sourced
food
over the continued import of foreign products.
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Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with relevant examples. While you provided a clear stance and some reasoning, deepening your explanations with specific examples would enrich your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Mind your spelling and grammar to enhance clarity. Errors such as 'comtempory' (contemporary), 'porducts' (products), 'alleviate' (diminish/reduce), and 'carreers' (careers) can detract from your message.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument smoothly. Each paragraph should start with a sentence that clearly indicates the main idea it will explore.
Task Achievement
Consider balancing the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more evenly by dedicating similar lengths and depths of analysis to each,
Logical Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion which clearly presented your view and summarised the main points effectively.
Logical Structure
The essay structure is logical, with each paragraph dedicated to a distinct aspect of the topic.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
You engage with the topic critically, showing a clear understanding of the potential impacts of the trend towards importing food.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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