Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

A large number of criminals who served their first prison sentence, keep on committing crimes even after punishment.
This
is mainly because of difficulty finding regular employment once released and the most viable solution is to focus on rehabilitation rather than punishment. The major reason to re-offend after the sanction is unemployment. It is the number one predictor of recidivism, the less likely it is for a formerly incarcerated person to find a job, the more likely it is that they end up back in prison.
It is clear that
no one wants to hire a person who has a dark past and some problems with violation of the law,
therefore
employer would engage someone who has not had a conviction previously.
For instance
, a recent government survey found that, in New York City, a criminal record reduced the likelihood of a callback or job offer by nearly 50 per cent.
Consequently
,
this
is a cause of
this
problem. To tackle
this
problem the government should concentrate on rehabilitation methods
such
as occupational-based seek to prepare offenders to re-enter the workforce by training them on jobs. They can learn practical skills
such
as computer programming, cat maintenance and graphic design. In
this
way,they can be hired for a position that requires certain knowledge and skills.
For example
, in Norway, inmates are given opportunities that no one has, as their state provides them with jobs as soon as they get out of jail. So, they can get better performance easily than people who get punishment. In conclusion, joblessness is a major issue that can result in individuals committing a crime again,
nevertheless
, it can be addressed through the right approach in jail like rehabilitation. It is predicted that people who have convictions can earn the same amount of money as others.
Submitted by aizered097 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Consider expanding on how rehabilitation programs could specifically impact recidivism rates for a deeper exploration of your solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the flow of your essay, try linking sentences more clearly to previous points to enhance coherence.
Language Use
Adding a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Achievement
Your essay clearly identifies a major problem and suggests a viable solution, showing strong task understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively organizes your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: