Some people think that money is the best gift to give to youngster while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is generally accepted that giving
money
as a present to the teen is the best gift, while
some people say that it is a bad way. This
essay will demonstrate both aspects of the benefits of getting money
and a single object as a gift throughout the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, giving money
could lead them to have better financial habits in the future. This
is because , at the age of around 20 years old, people need to learn how to manage their savings for the future plan. Moreover
, getting money
from special occasions such
as birthday parties, Chinese New Year, or Children's Day to the kids will be provided such
a difficult task for them, whether they want to save it for later or they want to buy it instead
. Furthermore
, they will have the opportunity to learn by themselves about how to manage their expenditure.
On the other hand
, the kids will be happier from getting a gift as a special stuff because it could make a good memorable time for them. Undoubtedly people will be more excited about unwraping a big box of presents rather than a small postcard that contains money
. In addition
, getting an item such
as special toys or other items would be a special occasion for everyone, not only young kids but also
adults. Additionally
, it can represent how passionate the sender to
the receiver. Add a missing verb
is to
For instance
, when John buys a rare item of toys that had been out of stock for a long time for his sister, it can be
obvious Wrong verb form
is
to see
how much he loves his sister.
In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above provide both advantages from cash and objects. From my point of view, I would prefer to buy a single object for my friend because I want my thing to be emphasised in my friend's heart that once I got Verb problem
apply
this
toy for her. It can also
tell how I care about what my friends like and dislike.Submitted by sasinipapj on
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing logical flow.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea, supported by detailed examples or explanations. This will enhance the clarity and focus of your response.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both views and provides a clear personal opinion, meeting the task requirements well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-formed, framing your essay effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
You successfully used paragraphs to organize your ideas, showing good logical structure.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?