Government investment in the art, such as music and theaters are a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
In some countries, there is a suggestion by the public to the government to spend more money on developing public services rather than investing money in arts like music and theatre. I
am
fully Verb problem
apply
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
this
suggestion. The following essay narrates points to support my view.
Firstly
, the backbone of a nation is the civilized and educated citizens. By understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
this
, if a nation can invest their
budget in building higher standard Correct pronoun usage
its
school
and Fix the agreement mistake
schools
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
then
, the next generation will be qualified and creative thinking
teenagers. They can utilize their knowledge in developing and expediting the state's economic growth. Add a hyphen
creative-thinking
For instance
, in Kerala, government
concentrated on giving education to Add an article
the government
Correct article usage
the pubic
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
in
free of cost, which in turn made the state Change preposition
apply
to
develop highly qualified and professional youngsters. To utilize these resources, big software companies launched their premises there and resulted in accelerating Fix the infinitive
apply
the
Kerala’s economic growth.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, it is observed that,
many economically Remove the comma
apply
low level
families are suffering Add a hyphen
low-level
with
insufficient and better medication. Even many adults and babies were dying without getting proper treatment.If Change preposition
from
government
can able to contribute money in building Add an article
the government
multi-Specialty
hospitals and can offer treatment Correct your spelling
multi-speciality
in
Change preposition
at
low
cost, Correct article usage
a low
then
the death rate of the country will decrease and also
eventually country can get rid of health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
issue
.
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
On the other hand
, it is needed to invest wealth in developing the nation's arts and music as it is directly related to the
its culture. Most of the time our arts help foreigners to know about our history and culture. Remove the article
apply
Furthermore
, People need places to get
Verb problem
apply
relaxed
and enjoy their evening with Replace the word
relax
families
. So spending on parks and theatre is Correct pronoun usage
their families
also
required for a country.
In conclusion, by
considering public needs and investing most of the budget on developing public services Change preposition
apply
are
more important than spending on Correct subject-verb agreement
is
entertainment
field as Correct article usage
the entertainment
country’s
growth fully Correct article usage
the country’s
depend
on the Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
developing
Replace the word
development
a
healthy and educated society.Change preposition
of a
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Included relevant examples to support arguments.
Logical Flow
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.