Government investment in the art, such as music and theaters are a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #art #music #theaters #waste #money #services

In some countries, there is a suggestion by the public to the government to spend more money on developing public services rather than investing money in arts like music and theatre. I

Verb problem

apply

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fully

supporting

Wrong verb form

support

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this

suggestion. The following essay narrates points to support my view.

Firstly

, the backbone of a nation is the civilized and educated citizens. By

understand

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understanding

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this

, if a nation can invest

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

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budget in building higher standard

school

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schools

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and

college

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colleges

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then

, the next generation will be qualified and

creative thinking

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creative-thinking

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teenagers. They can utilize their knowledge in developing and expediting the state's economic growth.

For instance

, in Kerala,

government

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the government

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concentrated on giving education to

Correct article usage

the pubic

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pubic

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public

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Change preposition

apply

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free of cost, which in turn made the state

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apply

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develop highly qualified and professional youngsters. To utilize these resources, big software companies launched their premises there and resulted in accelerating

the

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apply

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Kerala’s economic growth.

Secondly

, it is observed that

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apply

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many economically

low level

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low-level

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families are suffering

with

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from

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insufficient and better medication. Even many adults and babies were dying without getting proper treatment.If

government

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the government

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can able to contribute money in building

multi-Specialty

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multi-speciality

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hospitals and can offer treatment

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low

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a low

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cost,

then

the death rate of the country will decrease and

also

eventually country can get rid of

health related

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health-related

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issue

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issues

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On the other hand

, it is needed to invest wealth in developing the nation's arts and music as it is directly related to

the

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apply

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its culture. Most of the time our arts help foreigners to know about our history and culture.

Furthermore

, People need places to

get

Verb problem

apply

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relaxed

Replace the word

relax

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and enjoy their evening with

families

Correct pronoun usage

their families

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. So spending on parks and theatre is

also

required for a country. In conclusion,

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apply

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considering public needs and investing most of the budget on developing public services

are

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more important than spending on

entertainment

Correct article usage

the entertainment

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field as

country’s

Correct article usage

the country’s

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growth fully

depend

Correct subject-verb agreement

depends

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on the

developing

Replace the word

development

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Change preposition

of a

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healthy and educated society.

Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on Sun Apr 21 2024

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Sentence Variety

Focus on clear and varied sentence structures to enhance readability.

Vocabulary Expansion

Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to discuss nuances in your argument more effectively.

Paragraph Development

Ensure all paragraphs are well-developed with clear main ideas and supporting details.

Position Clarity

Provided a clear stance on the topic.

Example Usage

Included relevant examples to support arguments.

Logical Flow

Logical organization and progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Government investment in the art, such as music and theaters are a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college, university or even after finding a job. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, governments are encouraging to people and factories move out in rural areas due to housing and transport issues. Discuss both views and give your personal example.