some people believe that students should learn science subjects at schools while others believe that other subjects like history is also beneficial for them discuss both views
There is an active debate in society, where some opine that being good at IT and technology is the only way to success in life.
In contrast
, others think it is important to have optimum knowledge of courses like history, finance
and arts are helpful too. This
essay will discuss both opinions in the forthcoming paragraph.
To begin
with, as technology is advancing at a rapid pace, it is safe to say, an individual with fair understanding of computers and the artificial intelligence will have a secure future. In other words
, computers are going to overtake all fields in coming times. For example
: finance
industry is getting revolutionarised by IT sector, a person can transfer money
internationally on just one click.
On other hand, beliver of latter statement contend, it is utter gibberish to think science will rule the world in the future, other subjects like finance
, history, music are equally important to study. furthermore
, skills like money
management plays an essential role in an individual's life, AI can't manage your money
for you and no one will be comfortable enough to trust it to handle their money
. To exemplify: a recent study by University of Texas claims, people have started consulting finance
managers 18 percent more in last
decade due to
lack of trust on technology.
In conclusion, both the sides have it's own positives and negatives, it is certain that plenty of jobs done by human today will be overtaken by computers in the future but, it's equally important to have optimum knowledge of other areas.Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on
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Introduction
Consider refining your introduction to more clearly outline the viewpoints you will discuss. This sets a clearer pathway for your discussion.
Balance
Ensure your essay maintains a balanced discussion of both viewpoints throughout. While you've discussed both sides, further expanding on each viewpoint could provide a more thorough exploration.
Clarity
Work on the clarity and precision of your arguments, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or further explanation. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of coherence and cohesion; however, varying your sentence structures and using clearer linking words could enhance the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
Coverage
You've covered both sides of the argument, which is essential for the task.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarises the essay's discussion, reflecting on the importance of both perspectives.
Examples
Providing specific examples, such as the study by the University of Texas, helps support your arguments and improve task achievement.