some people believe that students should learn science subjects at schools while others believe that other subjects like history is also beneficial for them discuss both views

#people #students #science #subjects #schools #history

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There is an active debate in society, where some opine that being good at IT and technology is the only way to success in life.

In contrast

, others think it is important to have optimum knowledge of courses like history,

finance

and arts are helpful too.

This

essay will discuss both opinions in the forthcoming paragraph.

To begin

with, as technology is advancing at a rapid pace, it is safe to say, an individual with fair understanding of computers and the artificial intelligence will have a secure future.

In other words

, computers are going to overtake all fields in coming times.

For example

finance

industry is getting revolutionarised by IT sector, a person can transfer

money

internationally on just one click. On other hand, beliver of latter statement contend, it is utter gibberish to think science will rule the world in the future, other subjects like

finance

, history, music are equally important to study.

furthermore

, skills like

money

management plays an essential role in an individual's life, AI can't manage your

money

for you and no one will be comfortable enough to trust it to handle their

money

. To exemplify: a recent study by University of Texas claims, people have started consulting

finance

managers 18 percent more in

last

decade

due to

lack of trust on technology. In conclusion, both the sides have it's own positives and negatives, it is certain that plenty of jobs done by human today will be overtaken by computers in the future but, it's equally important to have optimum knowledge of other areas.

Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on Fri May 03 2024

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Introduction

Consider refining your introduction to more clearly outline the viewpoints you will discuss. This sets a clearer pathway for your discussion.

Balance

Ensure your essay maintains a balanced discussion of both viewpoints throughout. While you've discussed both sides, further expanding on each viewpoint could provide a more thorough exploration.

Clarity

Work on the clarity and precision of your arguments, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or further explanation. This will strengthen your task achievement score.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates an understanding of coherence and cohesion; however, varying your sentence structures and using clearer linking words could enhance the flow of ideas between paragraphs.

Coverage

You've covered both sides of the argument, which is essential for the task.

Conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarises the essay's discussion, reflecting on the importance of both perspectives.

Examples

Providing specific examples, such as the study by the University of Texas, helps support your arguments and improve task achievement.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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some people believe that students should learn science subjects at schools while others believe that other subjects like history is also beneficial for them discuss both views

Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and if so, how?

Some People Think That Success In Life Comes From Hard Work And Determination, While Others Think That There Are More Important Factors Such As Money And Appearance