In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

There are common
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that after finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school youngsters should travel
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for work or gain experience from
another cultures
Replace the adjective
another culture
other cultures
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of acts must be done before continuing
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
journey in the Universities.In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss the both pros and cons of
this
matter.
Firstly
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
a young age gives
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of benefits for young people. They might
broad
Replace the word
broaden
show examples
their point of view about life since they start living on their own. By working in different
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
and learning from various business rules they might decide which career they
wont
Correct your spelling
want
show examples
to
persieve
Correct your spelling
pursue
and prepare for their future study plans.
For instance
, nowadays many youngsters from my
country
leaving their countries
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
abroad and most of them
retrun
Correct your spelling
return
to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
home
country
with excellent business ideas. In fact, one of them recently found
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
software company in our
country
. On the other, being in the other
country
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
such
an important stage of life might separate young people from
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of
home
.
Furthermore
, years of spending foreign
country
on youngsters may create
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of belonging and integration
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
this
culture.
For example
, we can see many of the young people who went
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
never come back to their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Such
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
evident
Replace the word
evidence
show examples
stand out
most
Change preposition
in most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries. In conclusion, I can conclude that despite
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
that being abroad can hurt
feeling
Correct article usage
the feeling
show examples
of belonging to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
it is very useful for
yougsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
since
experience
Correct article usage
the experience
show examples
that they can
resive
Correct your spelling
receive
from there
invaluable
Add a missing verb
is invaluable
show examples
.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider using clearer transition phrases to improve the flow of your essay, such as 'Moreover', 'Additionally', or 'On the contrary'.
task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, aim to explore each advantage and disadvantage more deeply, providing more detailed examples and elaborating on their impact.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for small spelling and grammar mistakes, as they can distract from your otherwise strong arguments. Regular practice and proofreading can help minimize these errors.
task achievement
Consider balancing the advantages and disadvantages more equally to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear standpoint, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
The use of a real-life example to support your argument adds credibility and depth to your essay.
task achievement
Your concluding paragraph succinctly summarizes your arguments, effectively reinforcing your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: