IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries today there are people living on or below the poverty line. Why is this the case? what can be done to solve this problem?

#countries #people #poverty #line #case
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In recent days, Every country is trying -How to Increase GDP and
Control
 the
population
 rate. In many
countries
, people are living in poverty because Local Governments fail to plan how to invest
money
 in their own country and how to
control
 the
population
 to grow the nation.
This
 will be elaborated on in the following paragraph.
In addition
, to solve
this
 problem, the government has to think before investing
money
 in any sector. If it is investing more
money
 to purchase many more costly missiles and atomic weapons, fighter planes, spending more
money
 in elections to save the government rather than to create a
job
 in the public and private sectors. If it is supporting to private sector in every stage
then
 individuals have to find the
job
 scope and not live in poverty.
Furthermore
, Individuals have thought to
control
 the
population
 throughout our nation and the government has to support them in every stage,
also
 to
control
 the concerned department has to organize awareness programs in public places and motivate them.
For example
, some African
countries
 like Ghana and Niger In Asia like Sri Lanka, Pakistan, and Bangladesh all these
countries
' populations increase many more day by day and there was no
job
 scope. In my conclusion, In many
countries
, people are living in poverty because concerns are fail to plan how to invest
money
 in their own country and how to
control
 the
population
.it is investing more
money
 to purchase unnecessary sectors than to create the
job
 scope.
Submitted by bhimani_nilesh3186 on

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Task Response
Try to provide a more detailed analysis of the causes of poverty. Consider economic, social, and political factors that contribute to this issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. This will improve coherence.
Task Response
Include specific examples and statistics to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes key points and offers a final thought or recommendation.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which gives the essay a complete structure.
Task Response
You tackled both parts of the question by discussing causes and solutions for poverty.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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