Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

#people #children #home #six #seven #years #school #age

Parents

are sending their

kids

, aged six to seven, to primary

school

While

this

has been happening in many places previously, as both

parents

work and nobody is at

home

to look after their children. But allowing

kids

to go to

school

is in trend even at an early

age

, because of single families. Some might think that children should stay at

home

till a certain

age

, but I opine that going to

school

is the best experience for

kids

to interact with others, and I will state my stance in the following paragraph. Conspicuously, a kid’s memory is immensely sharp at an early

age

, and they can learn things easily at that stage. Sending them to

school

gives them a surrounding to interact with other children and teachers, which can make them more confident as compared to those who stay at

home

at that particular

age

Additionally

, attending

school

early helps them develop socially, which can be beneficial later on.

Although

spending time with their

parents

is reduced compared to those who spend their early

age

home

however

, they can easily make new friends by interacting with

kids

school

and becoming socialized.

Moreover

, it supports

parents

to work outside with a free mind. Based on the aforementioned reasoning, I will stand by my stance. If a child has a chance to spend their time outside of the house, it can support them to be independent later on, as they can learn how to talk to

others;s

Change the punctuation

others's

show examples

without hesitation.

Finally

, going to

school

at an early

age

gives some space to both

kids

and their

parents

, and a child can easily get both

home

and outside environments.

Submitted by kiranrattu.kr on Mon Apr 22 2024

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General

Review the use of punctuation and conjunctions to ensure clarity and cohesion between ideas.

Task Achievement

Your essay clearly addresses the topic, presenting a well-defined stance on the importance of early schooling.

Coherence and Cohesion

Well-structured paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas contribute to the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Language Use

You effectively use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas, which enhances the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

socialization
peer interaction
academic foundation
literacy
numeracy
structured environment
discipline
time management
organizational skills
diversity
perspectives
acceptance
educational resources
extracurricular activities
learning experience
early identification
learning disabilities
intervention
support
assistance

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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. However, there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In several parts of the world, humans live near protected areas that preserve and protect wildlife. what problems could this situation cause? what solutions you can suggest?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?