Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

#people #children #home #six #seven #years #school #age

Parents

are sending their

kids

, aged six to seven, to primary

school

While

this

has been happening in many places previously, as both

parents

work and nobody is at

home

to look after their children. But allowing

kids

to go to

school

is in trend even at an early

age

, because of single families. Some might think that children should stay at

home

till a certain

age

, but I opine that going to

school

is the best experience for

kids

to interact with others, and I will state my stance in the following paragraph. Conspicuously, a kid’s memory is immensely sharp at an early

age

, and they can learn things easily at that stage. Sending them to

school

gives them a surrounding to interact with other children and teachers, which can make them more confident as compared to those who stay at

home

at that particular

age

Additionally

, attending

school

early helps them develop socially, which can be beneficial later on.

Although

spending time with their

parents

is reduced compared to those who spend their early

age

home

however

, they can easily make new friends by interacting with

kids

school

and becoming socialized.

Moreover

, it supports

parents

to work outside with a free mind. Based on the aforementioned reasoning, I will stand by my stance. If a child has a chance to spend their time outside of the house, it can support them to be independent later on, as they can learn how to talk to

others;s

Change the punctuation

others's

show examples

without hesitation.

Finally

, going to

school

at an early

age

gives some space to both

kids

and their

parents

, and a child can easily get both

home

and outside environments.

Submitted by kiranrattu.kr on Mon Apr 22 2024

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General

Review the use of punctuation and conjunctions to ensure clarity and cohesion between ideas.

Task Achievement

Your essay clearly addresses the topic, presenting a well-defined stance on the importance of early schooling.

Coherence and Cohesion

Well-structured paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas contribute to the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Language Use

You effectively use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas, which enhances the readability of your essay.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

279 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

In many places,new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside.some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.what is your opinion about this?

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion?

some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others ,however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion