Children engaged in sport are often overloaded with physical activity or get serious traumas. What are the main reasons of this? What solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that
sports
can bring more load on offspring's bodies and cause some bad injuries. There are a variety of reasons for
this
issue, but steps can be taken to tackle the problem. The two main causes of the heavy load of
sports
on
children
are the types of
sports
children
choose and the lack of proper
sports
facilities.
Firstly
,
children
are engaged in the wrong type of physical activities that do not suit their age and body weight. They play hard
sports
like boxing or martial arts.
In other words
, these types of
sports
require long practice hours, and
as a result
, the offspring's body gets overloaded and sometimes causes bad injuries.
For example
,
children
who play boxing need to practice for long hours and eat too much food to handle
this
type of sport, which results in severe health and body problems.
Secondly
, most of the
sports
facilities are not well equipped with suitable equipment,
thus
offspring get injured all the time. Some possible solutions to
this
problem are;
initially
, educate
children
about the type of
sports
they should play. When
children
are well educated about
sports
, they are more likely to choose less dangerous physical activities to play.
Moreover
, schools should increase safety measures when kids are playing. It is recommended that schools hire doctors or physiotherapists in their cadre to monitor
children
during any
sports
events.
To sum up
, increasing awareness about
sports
and preparing adequate facilities can decrease the negative results on
children
while
playing
sports
.
Submitted by nidaa_hamed on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, ensure you provide more detailed and specific examples to better illustrate your points. For instance, you could mention specific cases of injuries caused by improper equipment or cite studies on the risks of certain sports for children.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on clearer transitions between points. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument more smoothly. For example, you can use phrases like 'In addition to this,' or 'Another factor to consider is,' to link your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in conveying your message effectively.
task achievement
Your main points are supported with relevant details, making it easier to understand the rationale behind your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: