Capital punishment is good for countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, how to prevent
crimes
happened is always a crucial issue for the country.
Whereas
some
people
refer to capital punishment as a futile method to arrange society, others look upon capital punishment as an effective
way
to keep the country safe. As for my perspective, I am in favour of the latter, and the reason will be elaborated on as follows.
Initially
, some
people
think that punishing is not an available
way
to reduce crime rates. To be more specific, many
crimes
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
due to
the lack of education and unhappy families.
Due to
the insufficiency, offenders start to complain about the world and commit
crimes
.
Therefore
, the best
way
to address the root cause is to guide and teach criminals the correct behaviours. happened. At the other end of the spectrum, most
people
agree that punishment has an indispensable role to play in residence safety.
According to
a study conducted by the Ministry of the Interior in Taiwan, in 2018, the government imposed a heavier fine for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
who drive after drinking alcohol. The statistics demonstrated that the number of
people
who drive after drinking witnessed a significant downward trend, around a 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
decrease after two years. Based on
such
compelling evidence, punishing seems to be an evitable
way
to deter
crimes
happening.
Moreover
, punishing
also
is a good
way
to let
people
know the boundaries of society. It provides a clear indication of correct and incorrect. In sum, I firmly believe that punishing has a positive effect on our country based on the effect of deterring
crimes
and creating management for society.
Submitted by bpcivvian on

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Task Response
Ensure the essay remains focused on capital punishment specifically, rather than punishment in general, for stronger relevance to the question.
Task Response
Clarify the introduction of examples and evidence by directly relating them to capital punishment to enhance the argument's strength and relevance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by summarizing the key arguments more distinctly and asserting your position clearly, ensuring coherence throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim for more varied sentence structures and transitions to improve the flow and readability, enhancing the overall cohesion of the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by examining both sides of the argument, enhancing the task achievement score.
Task Achievement
The use of a specific study to support the argument adds credibility and reinforces the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical progression of ideas from paragraph to paragraph, improving the score for coherence and cohesion.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • death penalty
  • deterrent
  • retributive justice
  • closure
  • wrongful execution
  • morality
  • ethics
  • economic costs
  • death row
  • life imprisonment
  • human rights
  • abolition
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • heinous crimes
  • judiciary system
  • penal system
  • legal framework
  • justice system
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