IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Capital punishment is good for countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#punishment #countries
Undoubtedly, how to prevent
crimes
 happened is always a crucial issue for the country.
Whereas
 some
people
 refer to capital punishment as a futile method to arrange society, others look upon capital punishment as an effective
way
 to keep the country safe. As for my perspective, I am in favour of the latter, and the reason will be elaborated on as follows.
Initially
, some
people
 think that punishing is not an available
way
 to reduce crime rates. To be more specific, many
crimes
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
due to
 the lack of education and unhappy families.
Due to
 the insufficiency, offenders start to complain about the world and commit
crimes
.
Therefore
, the best
way
 to address the root cause is to guide and teach criminals the correct behaviours. happened. At the other end of the spectrum, most
people
 agree that punishment has an indispensable role to play in residence safety.
According to
 a study conducted by the Ministry of the Interior in Taiwan, in 2018, the government imposed a heavier fine for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 who drive after drinking alcohol. The statistics demonstrated that the number of
people
 who drive after drinking witnessed a significant downward trend, around a 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 decrease after two years. Based on
such
 compelling evidence, punishing seems to be an evitable
way
 to deter
crimes
 happening.
Moreover
, punishing
also
 is a good
way
 to let
people
 know the boundaries of society. It provides a clear indication of correct and incorrect. In sum, I firmly believe that punishing has a positive effect on our country based on the effect of deterring
crimes
 and creating management for society.
Submitted by bpcivvian on

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Task Response
Ensure the essay remains focused on capital punishment specifically, rather than punishment in general, for stronger relevance to the question.
Task Response
Clarify the introduction of examples and evidence by directly relating them to capital punishment to enhance the argument's strength and relevance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by summarizing the key arguments more distinctly and asserting your position clearly, ensuring coherence throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim for more varied sentence structures and transitions to improve the flow and readability, enhancing the overall cohesion of the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by examining both sides of the argument, enhancing the task achievement score.
Task Achievement
The use of a specific study to support the argument adds credibility and reinforces the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical progression of ideas from paragraph to paragraph, improving the score for coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • death penalty
  • deterrent
  • retributive justice
  • closure
  • wrongful execution
  • morality
  • ethics
  • economic costs
  • death row
  • life imprisonment
  • human rights
  • abolition
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • heinous crimes
  • judiciary system
  • penal system
  • legal framework
  • justice system
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