Some people believe that the best way to deal with heavy traffic in city centers is for privately owned cars to be banned, others however, think this is an unrealistic solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no doubt
traffic
congestion is a major concern in
city
downtowns.
However
,
while
some believe that
this
problem could be resolved by forbidding private
cars
from entering the
centres
, I think
this
solution is impractical and unfeasible.
Firstly
, the public is highly suggested to select public
transport
when travelling to
city
centres
instead
of using privately owned
cars
to alleviate heavy
traffic
.
This
is because there is usually limited road space in
city
hubs
while
the amount of passengers and vehicles could be tremendous.
For instance
, some cities advise commuters to use a park-and-ride service which allows them to park their vehicles at a
transport
connection and
then
take public
transport
such
as trains and trams to go to the
centres
. The argument goes that if
cars
were banned from entering the
centres
, there would be fewer
traffic
jams.
Nevertheless
, I think stopping people from driving their own
cars
to the downtowns is an impractical idea for several reasons. First and foremost, many people may not have access to public
transport
, and driving by themselves might be the only possible way to get to
city
centres
for work, study, or running errands.
Secondly
, driving one's own car in most cases is more time-efficient compared to using public
transport
as there seems to be more variations for the latter.
For example
, it is reported that travellers in Melbourne frequently encounter unexpected road modifications or changes in time when they take a train.
Conversely
, driving one's own car allows more flexibility and drivers can make adjustments in the face of unexpected situations. In conclusion,
although
getting rid of private
cars
in
city
centres
might drastically reduce
traffic
jams,
this
is an unrealistic suggestion on the basis that travellers have to take into consideration public
transport
accessibility and time efficiency.
Submitted by runyaokou on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a slightly more in-depth discussion of the opposing viewpoint. Consider adding another supporting point or example for the view that banning private cars is not practical, to balance the argument sections more effectively.
task achievement
While your ideas are clearly presented, try to make your supporting arguments even more robust with additional specific examples or data. This will strengthen your position and showcase your ability to provide detailed support for your viewpoints.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay contains a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize your main points and provide a clear resolution to the discussion.
supported main points
You have effectively supported your main points with relevant examples, such as the park-and-ride service and the public transport issues in Melbourne.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is clear, and your arguments flow well from one point to the next. Your use of linking phrases, such as "Firstly" and "Nevertheless," helps guide the reader through your argument.
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