Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle the problem?
One of the most controversial issues relates to the students who prefer to spend their free
time
playing computer
games
at the place of doing sports. The roots of this
problem can be that children
find the first option more interesting than a
physical activity. In Remove the article
apply
this
essay, I am going to discuss one of the reasons for that issue and a possible solution.
Children
of the 21st century live in a highly technologically developed world, which opens them a lot of opportunities such
as playing computer
games
. That means that by spending their leisure at the computer
and playing games
with their peers, kids detach themselves from reality by using tools which the game provides to their character. For instance
, by playing “Winx Enchantix”, some little schoolgirls can feel themselves as a fairy, which can fly around the castles, speak with animals and cure the world with their beauty. However
, despite the opportunity which was mentioned above, the overbalancing of Virtual Reality(VR) daily use can be harmful to students' health, as the lack of physical activity can lead to obesity.
The possible solution to that problem can be that parents can sign their kids up for some sports classes, and fix a restriction about how much time
can be used to play computer
games
by their children
. This
would help their children
understand the real value of time
and work on their time
management skills . Furthermore
, a new activity in their schedule can bring new relationships in
the students’ lives and even it can show that reality can Change preposition
into
also
be entertaining. For example
, by signing up for boxing classes, some schoolboys can contact their peers during the lessons and after it, so in the future, the boundaries between their mates will tighten and even bring lifelong friendships.
In conclusion, nowadays teenagers are strongly influenced by high-tech VR games
, which provide opportunities that real life sometimes cannot. However
, sports activities can also
be entertaining as real contact with people can lead to new lifelong relationships.Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a general response to the prompt given, addressing both reasons and solutions to the problem. However, it is expected that you delve deeper into the reasons and offer more nuanced explanations. Additionally, the solutions provided are relevant but could be elaborated upon with more detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Nonetheless, the ideas could be connected more coherently with better use of transitional phrases and by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is directly supported by the subsequent sentences.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...