Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not satisfy its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some authorities issue an opinion that, for affluent nations, increasing economic wealth

Verb problem

does

show examples

not necessarily translate into citizens’ satisfaction. With

this

, I am in complete disagreement. In the first place, we cannot deny that improving the economy in a rich country would contribute to the better well-being of people, resulting in higher life quality standards. Specifically, even though

such

a wealthy country has already developed well in every aspect, some infrastructure and facilities still need a multitude of revenue supports, allowing them to serve people in a better way.

For instance

, more investment in areas

such

as healthcare, education, social welfare, and environmental conservation can contribute to long-term well-being and societal progress.

Consequently

, national satisfaction with society and the state can be enhanced sustainably and stably. In the second place, the index of citizens’ happiness will increase if the government can put imputes into economic improvement.

Although

some argue that the concept of diminishing marginal utility determines the fact that when the amount of money has already reached a top level, its function has been maximized and will not be elevated any

further

rather, it may decline,

this

situation may change when the whole scale is enlarged.

In other words

, governments can still make efforts to develop

the

Correct article usage

show examples

economy

that is

able to produce evident effects.

Therefore

, the level of national well-being

also

rises with economic development. In conclusion, even if these states have already been rich enough, it is still necessary for their authorities to take up the responsibility to enable their people to be happier by increasing financial inputs.

Submitted by Amber on Mon Apr 22 2024

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Linguistic Range and Accuracy

Try to include more diversified vocabulary to present your arguments and examples. While your essay is already strong in articulation, a wider range of vocabulary could enhance its expressiveness further.

Task Achievement

To enrich your essay, consider integrating direct, real-world examples that can substantiate your points more vividly. Examples from recent studies, reports, or even news articles related to economic impacts on societal happiness and infrastructure could provide concrete support for your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

For even greater coherence, create transitions between paragraphs that not only summarize the content but also clearly indicate what the next part will discuss. This makes your essay flow more naturally from one point to the next.

Coherence and Cohesion

You maintained a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, making your points easy to follow.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addressed the question, providing a comprehensive response to the prompt with relevant and specific reasons supporting your view.

Coherence and Cohesion

You effectively used introductory and concluding statements to frame your essay, creating a cohesive overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not satisfy its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people think that the parents of children who commit crime should also receive a punishment . To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their needs, for example, for food and research. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people opposie it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is widely believed that consumerism is vital for the economic well-being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.