IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Five months ago, you started renting an apartment on a six-month agreement. You now wish to stay in the apartment for longer than the six months you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of your apartment. In your letter say how long you now want to rent the apartment for explain why your plans have changed tell the owner about a problem in the apartment You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ....................................,

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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 Jones, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you that I would like to extend my stay in my unit for another year and want to renew the agreement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, my intention was to live in the apartment for a six-month period.
This
Linking Words
 is because I had applied for a room in the hostel at my university and wanted to shift there in the next month.
However
Linking Words
, my application for the hostel is still pending and will take a longer period of time to approve
due to
Linking Words
 the high number of applicants.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I have to rent a private space for the next year until the completion of my degree. I want to consider my request and renew the lease for a year.
Further
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 want to inform you about the water leakage in the bathroom pipe, which is making things worse
due to
Linking Words
 the continuous flow of water to the living area. I would really appreciate your attention to
this
Linking Words
 matter and response at
the
Correct article usage
your
show examples
 earliest convenience. Your sincerly, Navneet K

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but one line is not clear. Say why you need the flat for one more year in a more direct way.
task response
Task response: Use a more polite form for the request. Write 'I would be grateful if you could renew the lease for one year.'
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter is easy to follow, but one idea can be linked better. Add a clear link before the problem, like 'Also, I need to tell you about one problem in the flat.'
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each part. The request and the pipe problem should be in separate parts for a cleaner plan.
task response
Task response: You cover all three points from the task.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Words like 'Firstly', 'However', and 'Therefore' help show the order of ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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