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people should adopt the culture and traditions of a country where they start living . to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #culture #traditions #country
With the advancements in modes of communication and travelling, an increasing number of individuals are travelling to visit foreign countries for business, tourism and education.Some folks think that the visitors should follow the customs of the host nation.I tend to disagree with
this
 notion because of the fact that cultural diversity is vital for the progress and economy of a nation-state. On the one hand, cultural differences are the key to national development.The US is an excellent example where masses belonging to different races and backgrounds have maintained their racial identity and working freely for the betterment of the country.It is the liberty of practising cultural obligations that have helped the US to become a superpower.The UK is another example of a prosperous country where Prime Minister Rashi Sunak being a Hindu, freely practices his Hindu faith
thus
 encouraging the common people to follow in his footsteps.
On the other hand
, the freedom to perform traditional rituals helps boost the economy by encouraging more tourists.
For instance
, Thailand has given independence to citizens in doing their rituals which has helped promote tourism
thus
 generating huge revenue.
On the contrary
, in India, Muslims are facing difficulties in their observances which has caused many folks to think twice before going there
hence
, damaging their image as a tourist-friendly nation.
This
 has caused her to lose billions of dollars generated from holidaymakers every year.
To conclude
, there are differences in various countries about the freedom of performing obligations but I firmly believe that people should follow their own traditions to promote cultural diversity and improve economic prospects by propagating the image of a tolerant society
Submitted by alishah2294 on

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structure
Consider using paragraph breaks more effectively to enhance readability and structure.
content
Review the use of specific examples to ensure they directly support your argument more clearly.
accuracy
Be mindful of overgeneralizations, especially when discussing the impacts of cultural practices on national development and tourism. Provide balanced views where possible.
introduction and conclusion
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear stance on the issue.
use of examples
You successfully incorporate examples from various countries to support your arguments, enriching the content of your essay.
logical flow
Your essay benefits from a logical flow of ideas, demonstrating good coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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