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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Students should choose a university majo that prepares them for high-paying careers. To what extent do you agree with the statement?

#students #university #majo #careers
It is undeniable that studying in well-known
Universities
 can provide
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 education and
also
 give a bigger future career opportunity for students specifically in terms of wages. I
srongly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 believe in
this
 thought, and I will delve deeper
why
Change preposition
into why
show examples
this
 is the case. Education is one of the basic components for individuals to get a better occupation.
Universities
 provide many programs and subjects as
menu
Add an article
a menu
the menu
show examples
 to be chosen by students, and because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Universities
' innovation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes
Universities
 become better in providing their services, and
also
 demonstrate a lot of evidence to make their rank gradually increase to the top.
Submitted by thesisabri on

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task achievement
Try to fully develop your ideas by providing more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments. This will help improve the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Although you've made a good start explaining why education is crucial for obtaining better occupations, expanding on how university majors specifically lead to high-paying careers would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider planning your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to enhance the logical flow of ideas. This structure will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Using connecting words and phrases can help improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'furthermore,' 'for example,' and 'in conclusion' signal the structure of your argument to the reader.
positive feedback
The introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and sets the stage for your argument.
positive feedback
Acknowledging the role of universities in providing quality education and future career opportunities is a strong point for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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