IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some scientists think that computers will soon become more intelligent than humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The majority of the researchers believe that computers very soon become more advanced than people I totally agree with
this
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 and I will discuss it. On the one hand, nowadays
computer
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 science is
day
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 by
day
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 increasing their
knowledge
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 about more than humans. So they fund every other
day
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 new things.
Such
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 as learning can
computer
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 very easily than a tutor. Because they have everything more than the human brain.
For example
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, my sister needed to find some details for the UK university, and her research for Google funds for everything. They have
knowledge
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 more than humans.
Moreover
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, it is increasing their
knowledge
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day
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 by
day
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. Because people these days are addicted to researching computers for
day
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-to-
day
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 life-solving everything.
For instance
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, my uncle needed to the by an Ari Ticket
then
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 her searched for use to the
computer
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 and he perched Ari's ticket from Canada.
As a result
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, time was not wasted. It is easier to do something more than human.
On the other hand
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, it has both pros and cons. If someone is used to computers they have to know about basic
knowledge
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. if they do not know about it they can not manage it well.
For example
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, my email brother Shanika
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
does not have enough
computer
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knowledge
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. But he wanted to search online shopping. he can not do it properly. In conclusion, nowadays, people believe that
computer
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knowledge
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 increasing more than murman. It is
day
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 by
day
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 coming up to the new update. To work more past like a robot. By Ari ticket, search some
knowledge
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, etc.
Therefore
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, it will become a very past increase more than human
knowledge
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to strengthen your coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You've addressed the topic, but your arguments could be more sophisticated and developed. Try to expand your ideas with more detailed explanations and varied examples.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Errors can detract from the clarity of your argument. Regular practice and reviewing basic rules can be very helpful.
Vocabulary & Expression
Work on the accuracy of language to clarify your points. Misunderstandings in terms such as "murman" instead of "human" can detract from your overall message.
Use of Examples
You've effectively used personal anecdotes to support your points, like the examples about your sister searching for university details and buying an airplane ticket online.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarises the essay's main points well, reinforcing your stance on the subject.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • emotional intelligence
  • technological singularity
  • ethical concerns
  • job displacement
  • autonomous systems
  • augmented reality
  • cognitive computing
  • data privacy
  • algorithmic bias
  • human-machine collaboration
  • technophobia
  • innovation
  • adaptive systems
  • robotic automation
  • ethical reasoning
  • computational limitations
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