“Learning depends not upon the personality or methodology but rather on the student’s attitude to his or her own learning”. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is said that learning is only affected by how willing the
student
is, not by the characteristics of their
teachers
. In my opinion, I fully agree with
this
idea as individuals need to be responsible for their education,
however
,
teachers
can influence how a
student
learns as well.
This
essay will discuss both
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
. On the one hand,
teachers
can directly influence the
performance
of their students. It is up to
teachers
to interpret knowledge and transmit it in a way
that is
understandable to learners.
Therefore
, any errors during
this
process can be detrimental to the
student
’s academic
performance
.
This
is highlighted in a dissertation carried out by Harvard in 2016 in which they examine four school districts to find a relationship between individual
teachers
and
student
’s maths
performance
. The dissertation found that ineffective teaching practices can greatly affect test outcomes, showing a clear correlation between
teacher’s
Correct article usage
a teacher’s
show examples
methodology and
student’s
Change noun form
student
show examples
learning.
On the other hand
, students who already have a negative attitude toward learning can have detrimental psychological effects on
performance
. Students often have an underlying fear or hatred towards learning because of past performances,
therefore
, they set up boundaries where no excitement can
foster
Wrong verb form
be fostered
show examples
.
However
,
such
limitations can cause more fear and frustration in learning, leading to a feedback loop,
causing
Correct word choice
and causing
show examples
less progress in learning to be made, per a recent study conducted by the University of Central Florida. The study
also
found that those with a positive view on learning after counselling break their self-restrictions before experiencing significant improvements in their academic performances. In conclusion,
although
certain teaching methods can have significant outcomes
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
learning, it is up to the
student
to form a healthy view towards learning. Without a proper attitude, a
student
can suffer from low academic
performance
and psychological complications.
Therefore
, I believe that learning depends greatly on the individual, not
teachers
.
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on

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task achievement
You might want to address counterarguments more explicitly. While you do present both viewpoints, a counterargument section could strengthen your essay even more.
coherence cohesion
Your transitions are smooth, and your paragraphs are well-organized. Consider varying your transition words and phrases to make the essay flow even more naturally.
task achievement
You effectively present both viewpoints in your essay and support them with relevant examples and studies.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary, which makes your essay engaging to read.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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