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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, a number of crowds consider
history
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 more crucial than other school curriculums,
such
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 as technology and science,
while
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 others take the opposite view. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and take the view that
history
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 is as vital as other
subjects
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.
To begin
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,
history
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 includes the actions and people's moral patterns throughout centuries. These can be practical and effective to be used in our daily
lives
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 because those patterns repeat, and as the nature of human kinds, the way of interaction and reaction of folks have been proven to be the same.
As a result
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, using these materials can give us many advantages, especially when it is taught at an early age. It teaches youngsters how to react and behave in society that they would not encounter at home or school.
However
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, it is undeniable that
history
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 can not promote the quality of our
lives
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 solely. Technology and science are the other crucial aspects of our
lives
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. They enable us to improve our knowledge of the globe,
such
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 as our anatomy, behaviour, different animals and plants, and the understanding of diverse cultures.
In addition
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 to
this
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, by studying the scientific contents of our ancestors, we will be able to implement their recommendations in full to confront our day-to-day problems and deal with our mistakes.
Moreover
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, to improve the basic amenities, invent state-of-the-art equipment, and attain remarkable achievements in modern medicine to cure illnesses, young people are required to study science and technology.
To sum up
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, I take the view that
history
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 is not the only most important subject in the school curriculum,
whereas
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 technological materials and scientific articles and
subjects
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 play a significant role in our daily
lives
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. it is legitimate to consider all of these
subjects
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 crucial, and authorities should take the best teaching methods to enhance the learning of these
subjects
Use synonyms
 for youngsters in schools and universities.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider adding more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between your ideas. Use connecting phrases like 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Consequently' to make your arguments clearer and more interconnected.
task achievement
In terms of task response, make sure to include more specific examples to support your points. Personalized or real-world examples can make your arguments more convincing and relatable to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear overview of both perspectives and summarizing your view effectively. This helps in setting the stage and wrapping up your essay neatly.
task achievement
Your essay covers both views effectively and provides a balanced argument. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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