Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there is no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying that some countries face serious challenges with high unemployment rates. Some argue that
students
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should only receive a primary
education
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since job opportunities are limited.
However
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, I strongly disagree with
this
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perspective. Secondary
education
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is essential, as it equips
students
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with advanced knowledge and skills, enabling them to contribute to the economic growth of their country.
This
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essay will discuss why
students
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should have access to both primary and secondary
education
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, regardless of employment conditions.
To begin
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with, a country’s development is closely linked to the
education
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level of its population. Secondary schooling fosters innovation and creativity, which are essential for economic progress. Even in countries with high unemployment, well-educated
individuals
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can create their own job opportunities.
For example
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, in my country, despite low employment rates, many graduates start their own businesses, boosting economic activity.
This
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, in turn, increases national income, as entrepreneurs purchase goods and services to sustain their businesses.
Moreover
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, limiting
education
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to the primary level can negatively impact
individuals
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' mental well-being. Without access to higher
education
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, many people may feel undervalued and unfulfilled.
For instance
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, my brother, who only completed primary school, is in his 30s and remains unemployed.
As a result
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, he has struggled with depression and low self-esteem, as he feels he has no meaningful role in society. Providing secondary
education
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ensures that
individuals
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have greater opportunities for personal and professional growth. In conclusion,
education
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is a fundamental right that should not be restricted based on employment rates. Secondary
education
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enables
individuals
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to develop valuable skills, contribute to the economy, and maintain better mental well-being.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that all
students
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should have access to both primary and secondary
education
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, regardless of job market conditions.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support your points, as this would enhance the strength of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear topic sentence that relates directly to your overall argument, which can improve the clarity of your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction that clearly states your position and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant real-life examples that illustrate your arguments well, making your points more relatable and compelling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rate
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • employability
  • entrepreneurship
  • educational reforms
  • economic growth
  • skilled workforce
  • job market
  • opportunities
  • critical thinking
  • advanced skills
  • self-employment
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