Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there is no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying that some countries face serious challenges with high unemployment rates. Some argue that

students

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should only receive a primary

education

Use synonyms

since job opportunities are limited.

However

Linking Words

, I strongly disagree with

this

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perspective. Secondary

education

Use synonyms

is essential, as it equips

students

Use synonyms

with advanced knowledge and skills, enabling them to contribute to the economic growth of their country.

This

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essay will discuss why

students

Use synonyms

should have access to both primary and secondary

education

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, regardless of employment conditions.

To begin

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with, a country’s development is closely linked to the

education

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level of its population. Secondary schooling fosters innovation and creativity, which are essential for economic progress. Even in countries with high unemployment, well-educated

individuals

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can create their own job opportunities.

For example

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, in my country, despite low employment rates, many graduates start their own businesses, boosting economic activity.

This

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, in turn, increases national income, as entrepreneurs purchase goods and services to sustain their businesses.

Moreover

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, limiting

education

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to the primary level can negatively impact

individuals

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' mental well-being. Without access to higher

education

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, many people may feel undervalued and unfulfilled.

For instance

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, my brother, who only completed primary school, is in his 30s and remains unemployed.

As a result

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, he has struggled with depression and low self-esteem, as he feels he has no meaningful role in society. Providing secondary

education

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ensures that

individuals

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have greater opportunities for personal and professional growth. In conclusion,

education

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is a fundamental right that should not be restricted based on employment rates. Secondary

education

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enables

individuals

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to develop valuable skills, contribute to the economy, and maintain better mental well-being.

Therefore

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, I firmly believe that all

students

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should have access to both primary and secondary

education

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, regardless of job market conditions.

mannalfallThu Mar 20 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support your points, as this would enhance the strength of your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear topic sentence that relates directly to your overall argument, which can improve the clarity of your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a strong introduction that clearly states your position and outlines the main points that will be discussed.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant real-life examples that illustrate your arguments well, making your points more relatable and compelling.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unemployment rate
primary education
secondary education
employability
entrepreneurship
educational reforms
economic growth
skilled workforce
job market
opportunities
critical thinking
advanced skills
self-employment

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Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there is no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject. What are causes? And what will be effects on society?

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?