Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental population and housing problems. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #government #focus #population

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It is argued that authorities should emphasize environmental and accommodation issues as a method to deal with health problems. The writer agrees with

this

assertion and argues against those who support treatment innovation as a better method. Some individuals may contend with the need for more medical cures when facing new illnesses or diseases.

This

is based on the fact that they are paying much attention to how to defeat those bacteria and neglect the importance of limiting the obscured cause behind the problem.

As a result

, action will only be taken when the virus enters human bodies and spreads the contagious disease around the whole world, making a huge number of people suffer from pain and their detrimental symptoms.

For example

, during the COVID-19 pandemic, lots of money was invested in clinical cures but could not prevent thousands of deaths, questioning the essence of searching and analyzing food sources and other environmental factors from the beginning.

Therefore

, there are numerous reasons advocating the strategy of decreasing environmental and housing crises to improve the process of disease avoidance.

Firstly

, air and water pollution should be considered as the primary element leading to the decline in humans’ immune systems against those new invaders.

For instance

, the negative impacts of air pollution are reported to be not only a suitable place for virus growth but

also

bring them into human bodies through noses or mouths, resulting in lung cancers.

As a result

, looking for a viable solution to tackle

this

is one of the most effective ways of preventing diseases.

Also

, when solving accommodation concerns for individuals, the government can separate different groups of people, making it easier to manage and control when a new species of virus spreads. In brief, some may support new medical treatments as the best method for dealing with health problems.

However

, putting effort into tackling environmental and residential issues should be observed as a more ingenious solution.

Mon Apr 22 2024

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Task Achievement

You've made a convincing argument with a clear thesis statement, but consider diversifying your examples for a more comprehensive approach.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to enhance your essay by adding more complex sentence structures and a wider variety of linking words for better flow and cohesion.

Structure

Your essay has a clear logical structure, making your argument easy to follow.

Introduction & Conclusion

You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, framing your arguments well.

Content

You provided relevant examples that support your main points, enhancing the persuasive quality of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environmental population and housing problems. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

You have just learned that your friend has recently become engaged. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter ● tell him/her how you found out ● explain how you feel about the news ● organise to meet your friend for a celebration

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large number of students in a classroom. Nowadays-new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. Advantages, Disadvantages?

The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?