Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

Many people believe that

authority

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authorities

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should pay attention to reducing environmental corruption and solve

obstacle

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obstacles

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to prevent disasters

such

as sickness and disease.

This

writer agrees with the statement and will discuss it below. The essential point

can be recognized

Wrong verb form

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that disability comes from infection. In many levels of infection areas, the local citizens always suffer from a variety of illnesses including their lungs and stomachs. As we can see, when marine species live in polluted rivers and seas, they can be poisoned and humans can be ill when they eat their poisonous food.

Moreover

, if the government do not concentrate on decreasing the environmental problems by solving the industry wastes into the environment. Another point is that air deterioration is not only bad for one space but it

also

causes damage to another field.

For example

, air corruption can move to another area and make that area become polluted and increase the range of

ailment

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ailments

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. When residents breathe in a poisonous atmosphere, their lungs will be poisoned and they will suffer from lung disorders,

moreover

, cancer can appear in their cells so it dangerously affects their survivors. In consequence, the higher the level of abuse , the more people can die if the government do not take any action to solve

these complication

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this complication

these complications

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. In conclusion,

humans

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human

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health can be dangerously affected by pollutants so the government have to pay attention to solving deterioration

complication

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complications

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Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Apr 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay introduces the topic effectively and provides a clear stance, which is great for task response. To further improve, ensure all your points directly support your argument and every paragraph contributes to your overall thesis.

coherence cohesion

You've structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion. For coherence, work on linking your ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs using a variety of connecting words.

task achievement

Including more specific examples or data to support your points would strengthen your essay. This makes your argument more persuasive and engaging to the reader.

task achievement

Effective introduction of topic and clear stance.

coherence cohesion

Good logical structure and presence of introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that human needs for farmland housing and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while others think there are other better way to remain fit. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?