The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
people
contend that the major purpose of science
is to advance human lives. Nonetheless
, apart from the aforementioned presumption, science
could have other benefits for human beings.
In terms of positive changes in human society, scientific projects could enhance people
’s health. Indeed, scientific research in the healthcare industry contributes to the development of drugs and medicines that cure severe illnesses. For example
, in 2022, scientists and researchers successfully prepared the COVID-19 vaccine called Pfizer, which reinvigorated millions of lives worldwide. Additionally
, science
may facilitate human convenience. In other words
, scientific inventions, such
as telephones or automobiles, assist people
in communicating with others or commuting long distances. Hence
, the standard of living of humans could be improved significantly because of science
.
Nevertheless
, human beings could gain other advantages from science
. One possible idea worth mentioning is that people
could widen their horizons. It means that scientific puzzles foster human curiosity, encouraging individuals to read more books and studies about science
and the natural world. For instance
, children who frequently engage in scientific activities in school could nurture the habit of reading, leading them to boost their knowledge and intelligence. Furthermore
, individuals intrigued by science
easily achieve the fruits of life because they have formed some valuable competencies, such
as self-taught ability, discipline, and independence. Therefore
, science
could help people
be more intelligent, wise, and successful in life.
In conclusion, the object of science
positively impacts human lives, including the physical and internal world. In my opinion, I assume that the government should create more scientific competitions and encourage residents to participate in order to enhance their skills and brainpower.Submitted by Mads on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure and includes both an introduction and conclusion. However, you could enhance the flow between paragraphs with more transitional phrases or sentences that reinforce the connections between ideas. This would improve the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that succinctly summarizes the main point of the paragraph. This helps guide your reader and strengthens the cohesion of your argument.
task achievement
While your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, make sure to articulate a strong, clear thesis at the end of the introduction. This sets the stage for your argument and makes it easier for the reader to follow your points.
task achievement
You have excellent examples, like the Pfizer vaccine, which really strengthen your argument. Try to incorporate a diverse range of examples to show the breadth of science's impact more fully.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined structure with clear paragraphs and a logical progression of ideas, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt effectively and provided clear, comprehensive ideas that are well-supported with specific examples.
task achievement
Your use of relevant and specific examples enhances the persuasiveness of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?