Some people say in order to prevent illness and diseases government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem, to what extent you agree or disagree?

In light of the proliferation of development, diseases and illness are serious problems that need to be averted, some people believe that the government should concentrate on tackling environmental contamination and accommodation trouble to solve those problems.
This
writer contends that focusing on housing and environmental issues will improve citizens’ quality of life and lower the rate of homelessness. It must be acknowledged that cleaning the surrounding areas can significantly reduce cases of illness and infection. By clearing the atmosphere and the water sources, local residents will be protected from various respiratory diseases and harmful substances in their drinks.
Consequently
, the standard of life in many societies is greatly enhanced and the country’s state of health can
also
gain some benefits.
Therefore
, funding ecological projects should be an advisable course of action. Take the neighborhoods near the nuclear waste for an example, it takes several years for it to decay and the local can be heavily impacted in the meantime. Another point worth considering is that solving the problem of accommodation can cut down the number of homeless people on the streets.
In other words
, using abandoned lands for apartments or community houses, individuals will have more options to stay in.
As a result
, more residents will have a comfortable place to live
while
making use of unwanted sites. It must
also
be noted that creating opportunities for many communities to live together can create relationships between neighbours. In conclusion, the government should focus on eliminating environmental pollution and housing problems to improve citizens’
overall
health and reduce the amount of people sleeping outside.
Therefore
,
this
essay has demonstrated clear points to the aforementioned statement.

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is present in the introduction to guide readers through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Integrate a wider range of linking phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Enhance your argument with more specific examples and data when possible. This helps to strengthen your points and provides tangible evidence to back your claims.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a reasoned argument on the importance of governmental focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, including a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument, demonstrating good coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported and developed in a manner that is easy to follow, showing a strong connection between your ideas and the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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