Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
During the past few decades, we have witnessed the
population
of elderly people
has increased dramatically as a result
of developed health facilities. While
some people
believe that a spanned aging
Change the spelling
ageing
population
is somewhat troublesome for the government in handling their needs, others stand with the idea that this
very population
can be utilized efficiently to take more benefits than ever. Despite some minor disadvantages we can observe, in this
essay, we discuss two major advantages that outweigh the drawbacks. First,
the experiences elderly people
gather throughout their lives can be invested in the labor
force of young Change the spelling
labour
people
to deliver a good product or service. Second,
senior citizens can devote their free time to cultivating needed vegetables on their home premises.
To begin
with, a man who works for his lifetime collects an invaluable set of experiences from their couriers. If this
same person just quits from his work, it would become a waste of knowledge. Even though he can't contribute his part physically, the experience can be transferred to successors effectively. Based on this
fact, the government can create a program in which retired people
can work as consultants to various developing projects. Then
young people
working on the same projects can absorb what they need from experienced old and retired workers. This
phenomenon can affect the total throughput of the whole nation significantly.
Also
, this
modern world is facing challenges such
as food shortages and availability as a consequence
of missing their sources. One of the best solutions is that elderly people
can experiment with new cultivation methods on their living premises themselves. This
scenario helps them keep their health at a rated level in addition
to delivering healthy agricultural products to market. It increases the availability of good foodstuffs in the open market so that others can consume them. These kinds of activities increase the nutrition needs of the whole population
. So, there are many benefits to society.
Finally
, we can conclude that the population
of senior citizens can be utilized in many ways out of which, two are described in this
essay. Despite this
, such
a population
puts additional weight on the government, if relevant authorities build up a creative program that targets the elderly society to reuse their energy, the whole society can enjoy the benefits delivered by themSubmitted by swijayakoon on
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the topic and presenting advantages of an ageing population. However, you could include a more thorough analysis of the disadvantages to balance your points. This would lead to a more complete response.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs for each major point could improve the clarity of your ideas. Also, ensure that each paragraph develops one main idea fully before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Your main points would benefit from more detailed, specific examples to strengthen your argument. Instead of speaking generally, use specific instances or data to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. This can be achieved through the use of more varied linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear framework for your essay. However, ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points of your essay clearly and effectively.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen the logical structure, clarify your argument in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph directly supports this argument. This will help the reader follow your reasoning more easily.
task achievement
You have managed to clearly present the advantages of an ageing population in your essay, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the essay topic effectively, and you provide a clear conclusion that summarizes your points well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical sequence, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...