Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #people #say #population #governments #society

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During the past few decades, we have witnessed the

population

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of elderly

people

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has increased dramatically

as a result

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of developed health facilities.

While

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some

people

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believe that a spanned

aging

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ageing

show examples

population

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is somewhat troublesome for the government in handling their needs, others stand with the idea that

this

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very

population

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can be utilized efficiently to take more benefits than ever. Despite some minor disadvantages we can observe, in

this

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essay, we discuss two major advantages that outweigh the drawbacks.

First,

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the experiences elderly

people

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gather throughout their lives can be invested in the

labor

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labour

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force of young

people

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to deliver a good product or service.

Second,

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senior citizens can devote their free time to cultivating needed vegetables on their home premises.

To begin

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with, a man who works for his lifetime collects an invaluable set of experiences from their couriers. If

this

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same person just quits from his work, it would become a waste of knowledge. Even though he can't contribute his part physically, the experience can be transferred to successors effectively. Based on

this

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fact, the government can create a program in which retired

people

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can work as consultants to various developing projects.

Then

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young

people

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working on the same projects can absorb what they need from experienced old and retired workers.

This

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phenomenon can affect the total throughput of the whole nation significantly.

Also

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this

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modern world is facing challenges

such

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as food shortages and availability

as a consequence

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of missing their sources. One of the best solutions is that elderly

people

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can experiment with new cultivation methods on their living premises themselves.

This

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scenario helps them keep their health at a rated level

in addition

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to delivering healthy agricultural products to market. It increases the availability of good foodstuffs in the open market so that others can consume them. These kinds of activities increase the nutrition needs of the whole

population

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. So, there are many benefits to society.

Finally

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, we can conclude that the

population

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of senior citizens can be utilized in many ways out of which, two are described in

this

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essay. Despite

this

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such

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population

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puts additional weight on the government, if relevant authorities build up a creative program that targets the elderly society to reuse their energy, the whole society can enjoy the benefits delivered by them

Submitted by swijayakoon on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does a good job of addressing the topic and presenting advantages of an ageing population. However, you could include a more thorough analysis of the disadvantages to balance your points. This would lead to a more complete response.

task achievement

While your ideas are generally clear, organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs for each major point could improve the clarity of your ideas. Also, ensure that each paragraph develops one main idea fully before moving on to the next.

task achievement

Your main points would benefit from more detailed, specific examples to strengthen your argument. Instead of speaking generally, use specific instances or data to illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. This can be achieved through the use of more varied linking words and phrases.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear framework for your essay. However, ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points of your essay clearly and effectively.

coherence cohesion

To strengthen the logical structure, clarify your argument in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph directly supports this argument. This will help the reader follow your reasoning more easily.

task achievement

You have managed to clearly present the advantages of an ageing population in your essay, which is commendable.

coherence cohesion

The introduction sets up the essay topic effectively, and you provide a clear conclusion that summarizes your points well.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical sequence, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

385 words

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Disscuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree wih this statement?