Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificial intelligence robots. What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #intelligence #robots

Thanks to the development of

technology

, which makes us more efficient to do many

jobs

. Is it true? Some people argue that all vacancies can be solved by the advance of technologies using

robots

However

, I believe that some

jobs

still require

humans

This

essay will describe the reasons deeply. It is true that the development of

technology

enable

Change the verb form

enables

show examples

humans

to replace some

jobs

. Risky

jobs

such

as firefighters or pilots are replaced using

robots

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because those

jobs

are dangerous and

robots

can do better.

Also

jobs

that need automation

such

as data processors can completed by

robots

. The opening of bank accounts,

nowadays

Add a missing verb

has nowadays

show examples

been replaced by machines to make them more fast and

also

efficient, nowadays become more common.

However

, a job that needs active interactions,

such

as teachers, or related decision making still needs

humans

Firstly

, it because related to many aspects of feelings.

For example

, to teach children in playgroup or elementary school, they need attention and understanding from their teacher, which can't replaced by

technology

Furthermore

jobs

related to decision-making,

such

as CEO of a company. Usually, to decide something they

also

need experiences and

also

considerations, which these didn't have by

robots

. These

robots

, only use algorithms that

programmed

Add a missing verb

are programmed

show examples

by the programmers to analyse past actions and not including the value of feelings,

such

as sad and happiness. In conclusion, the advance of

technology

indeed has brought many benefits to

humans

, including finishing tasks or assignments.

However

, I strongly believe that not all

jobs

can be replaced by machines, especially related to feelings and decisions.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon Apr 22 2024

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general

Your essay presents a clear opinion and discusses both the impact of technology on job replacement and the importance of human roles in specific careers. Enhancing your argument with more diversified examples and a wider range of linking phrases could make it more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Consider stronger topic sentences to better introduce each paragraph, enhancing clarity and directing the reader through your argument more fluidly.

task achievement

Incorporate more detailed and varied examples to enrich your argument, making it more persuasive and comprehensive.

introduction conclusion present

You effectively introduced and concluded your argument, providing a clear stance on the issue.

logical structure

Your essay is structured logically, with paragraphs dedicated to discussing different aspects of the topic.

supported main points

You provided clear main points supporting your opinion, showcasing a good understanding of the essay task.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Artificial Intelligence (AI)
Automation
Workplace automation
Human intuition
Job displacement
Collaborative robots (Cobots)
Skill adaptation
Ethical considerations
Economic implications
Fully automated workforce
Human-machine collaboration
Technological advancements
Creative industries
Empathy
Socio-economic impact

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