Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is argued that local authorities should concentrate on reducing polluted environment and
problems
of accommodation in order to avert disease
and illness
. The writer strongly agrees with this
statement and believes that green space limit
the appearance of Correct subject-verb agreement
limits
viruses
and
cleaned houses provide better
place without Add an article
a better
insects
It is interesting to understand that by
investing in solving environmental Change preposition
apply
problems
may lead to less area for viruses
’s reproduction. It should be acknowledged that the less
present-day Correct quantifier usage
fewer
viruses
appear, the more successful in prevent
Change the verb form
preventing
pandemic
. Correct article usage
the pandemic
Consequently
, the governments can support the residence
and strengthen Replace the word
residents
the
ability Change the word
their
of facing
to Replace the preposition
to face
illness
and disease
. Taking Covid-19
pandemic, which was prevented dramatically in Viet Nam by the concentration on improving environmental pollution, as an instance .Correct article usage
the Covid-19
Thus
, it plays a crucial role in limiting the spread of disease
all over the world .
Another point should
be considered is that puzzling out the housing Correct pronoun usage
that should
problems
can help to create hygienic living space
for people. It should be noted that people have a tendency to avoid lots of Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
illness
by living in a cleaned
accommodation. Replace the word
clean
This
is due to
the fact that it is complicated to find insects
that can affect to immune system and cause illness
in others. As a result
, it is effortless to control the health conditions of citizens . For example
, some projects were launched in the USA in order to support the residence’s
accommodation to wipe out Replace the word
residents’s
insects
to prevent illness
and disease
In conclusion, focusing more on problem
of Add an article
the problem
polluted
environment can reduce Correct article usage
a polluted
great
of Correct word choice
the number
viruses
‘s reproduction. What is more , solving housing problems
may lead to more hygienic space
without Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
insects
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coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences are well-constructed and contribute to the overall argument. Some sentences could be clearer or more directly related to the main points.
task achievement
Consider expanding on your examples with more detail. While the examples provided are relevant, more specificity could strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Your introduction and conclusion strongly frame your argument, effectively outlining your stance and summarizing your main points.
supported main points
You've adeptly linked your main points through logical progression, aiding the reader's understanding.
complete response
Your response directly addresses the task, presenting a clear and comprehensive viewpoint throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.