Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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One of the widely discussed topics in modern days is that youngsters tend to be online for hours a day.

This

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problem is

due to

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that smartphones are light dopamine for

children

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, and I consider that it has a negative impact on a child's health. To commence with, gadgets have become an integral part of life since they provide with dopamine

that is

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necessary for

children

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's development. These days by playing online games

children

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acquire a wide range of emotions whether it is positive or negative, so they get used to playing them considerably a lot.

Furthermore

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, the majority tend to play with a group of friends for winners, and that competitive feeling drives them up and provides them with dopamine.

For instance

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, a popular game called "PubG" where the purpose is to kill opponents was played by over 1 billion young ones.

In addition

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, spending significantly a lot of time on online gadgets, and not following restrictions that were taught by parents have detrimental consequences. At an early age, they will suffer from problems with health, especially

vision

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issues. Low

vision

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is caused because of the light produced by phones.

This

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light is considered harmful since it burns a layer of the eye, and the child's

vision

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goes to minus. To take one example, one-third of

children

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above 10 years wear glasses for

vision

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Children

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depend on their smartphones because it gives them various emotions and feelings.

However

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, spending too much time on phones will lead to health problems.

Submitted by dnm.best on Sun Feb 18 2024

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Task Response

To improve task response, make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your introduction briefly mentions the reasons children spend hours on smartphones but could more clearly outline the reasons and indicate whether you believe it's positive or negative. Expand your analysis and link it directly back to the question in the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, enhance the logical flow of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases, and clearer topic sentences. While you have logical structure, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. Consider creating clearer distinctions between paragraphs by starting each with a strong topic sentence that signals the content of the paragraph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Some companies sponsor sports and sports stars as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some other cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is a better development?

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opinion.