You carried out an emergency maintenance on a key system and this resulted in an issue with the system Write a letter to the head of your data team. In your letter: - Provide an update on what happened - Explain what you're going to do about it - Say what you would like to him to do

Dear Tracy , I am writing
this
letter to inform you
the
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of the
show examples
incident that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
last
night around 7:30pm . By that time , I was still in the office preparing my
powerpoint
Correct your spelling
PowerPoint
for
tomorrow
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tomorrow's
show examples
seminar , I received a telephone call from the warehouse supervisor. He mentioned the situation that there was an error in the key system because of that the alarm went off to the police department straight away whenever they tried to shut the main gate . I quickly rushed to the warehouse and had to key in my PIN and password so that we
can
Wrong verb form
could
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close the gate for tonight .I
also
have contacted the IT department and they have promised me that they will come and fix the error
tomorrow
once they get into the office.
Tomorrow
, I am going to contact the insurance company and explain the situation
what
Correct word choice
that
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happened
last
night . and what caused the trouble.
Moreover
, I will find out what kind of coverage we can claim from them . I am going to file an incident report at the police station after I see the insurance agent.
Therefore
,
tomorrow
, I will be running late for the
semiar
Correct your spelling
seminar
as I am going to have to see them first thing in the morning . I might be arriving back
to
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at
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the
headquarter
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headquarters
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around 1 pm in the afternoon. If I
could not
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cannot
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make it to the seminar , I would like you to do the presentation on my behalf and send my apologies to the board of directors for my absence . You will be able to find my
powerpoint
Correct your spelling
PowerPoint
in the Seminar Folder under C Drive.
Thanks
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Thank
show examples
you in advance. Best regards, Sandi Mya Hla
Submitted by sandimyahla13 on

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Spelling
Be mindful of typos, like 'incident that occured' instead of 'incident that occurred', and ensure correct spelling throughout.
Punctuation
Use consistent and formal punctuation, avoiding spacing before punctuation marks.
Paragraph Structure
Consider organizing the letter into paragraphs that clearly separate different sections for improved readability.
Tone
Maintain a professional tone throughout and check for informal expressions that might benefit from being more formal in a business context.
Task Response
Effectively communicates the sequence of events and plans to address the issue, showing a good understanding of the task.
Closing
The closing of the letter is well-executed, with a polite request and a clear signature that fits the formal style.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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