Some parents think children should have mobile phones , others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #children #phones

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It is true that in

this

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day and age, opinion is divided over whether parents ought to provide an electrical device or not. In

this

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essay, I will look at both sides of

this

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debate

as well as

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offer my own point of view. Turning first of all to the arguments in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

this

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idea, it goes without saying that it is true that

children

Use synonyms

are often not yet in control of themselves. In

this

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case, they could not control their schedules for using their gadgets. At the same time, Information obtained from the internet is not as accurate as information from books.

In addition

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, the internet has a big potential to have a negative impact on

children

Use synonyms

. As far as the other side of

this

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debate is concerned, it is generally acknowledged that in some families the

children

Use synonyms

may often be alone and have no choice

Correct word choice

but to

show examples

have a mobile phone. It may

also

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be worth noting that the impact of

COVID 19

Add a hyphen

COVID-19

show examples

has led to an increasing number of schools operating internet-based exits, and their usefulness is

also

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certain. In my opinion, I tend to believe that

children

Use synonyms

should not be given a mobile phone since the risks are far greater than

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

benefits, and damages can

last

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for a lifetime. By way of conclusion, from the ideas and examples above it can be seen that there are valid arguments on both sides of

this

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debate.

However

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, I am of the opinion that, In the grand scheme of things, the disadvantages of owning a mobile phone outweigh the

merit

Fix the agreement mistake

merits

show examples

Submitted by yusei.nakano on Mon Apr 22 2024

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Task Achievement

Consider providing more balanced examples and analysis for both views before concluding to strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

To make your essay even more compelling, try to include more specific, real-world examples that support your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

For a more fluent reading experience, improve transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

Using a broader range of linking phrases can improve the flow and cohesion between sections of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've made a clear and structured argument which aligns well with the essay question.

Task Achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarises your opinion, reflecting good task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

262 words

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Some parents think children should have mobile phones , others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Some people say that musci is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?