165.Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.
In any
society
, parents try to protect their offspring at any cost. Thus
, some guardians resist their kids' companionship with others even at play and they prefer to let their child
enjoy life alone. Generally, Fix the agreement mistake
children
this
can protect the child
from bad influences but at the end
of the day, it leads to generate
a kid with a lack of social skills. Verb problem
apply
Hence
this
writer wholeheartedly believes the above notion is a bad influence on the child
.
First and foremost, people try to keep their children
away from society
due to
the belief that bad friendship
can harm kids. When a young Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
one
is with the peer groups, if a badly influenced member is with the group they can motivate the good one
into the bad easily. For instance
, drug dealers target most of the time student groups to attract more customers because young minds cannot separate good from bad and they easily do whatever their friends would do. Hence
, growing up the kids alone would be a better option in this
contemporary world.
However
, this
leads to the development of a child
with a lack of social skills who cannot strive in society
. when little one's
play on their own they will not learn to share ,and not develop skills like communication, leadership and empathy Change noun form
ones
whereas
ones who are more social, would developCorrect pronoun usage
it
itinvoluntarlly
. Correct your spelling
involuntarily
For example
, due to
too much parental involvement in present university students, there are a lot of suicidal attemps
were recorded among them ,as it is the first time they open up to Correct your spelling
attempts
attempt
society
,and they do not know how to live with peers , stress leads them to think on ending their life. Thus
, these dramatic social issues cannot cornered easily.
Owing to all these facts I believe parents should allow their children
to be with others because then
they can learn important life lessons and they can strive in society
, and mother and father cannot be always behind their child
and they should stand their feet one
day. If parents do not allow it, they will get lost in one
day.
In conclusion, guardians try to protect their children
by keeping them away from society
and in a way it will prevent bad influences ,but unfortunately, it creates a child
who can not withstand social pressure. Thus
this
writer believes allowing the children
to play along is a major drawback.Submitted by dinaka0001 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
As you develop your argument, ensure your essay includes contrasting viewpoints and discusses them in depth. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a broader range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
To strengthen your examples, make sure they are specific and directly support your main points. Avoid general statements that may not effectively illustrate your argument.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, demonstrating a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay aids in clarifying your argument to the reader.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully integrated an introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay nicely.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example