The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no
doubts
Fix the agreement mistake
doubt
show examples
that the
world
Use synonyms
nowadays has more
population
Use synonyms
compared to the
world
Use synonyms
a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
decades ago. There were wars and diseases that took lives away. Now that
this
Linking Words
earth has regained people back, does it become a serious incident
instead
Linking Words
?
This
Linking Words
essay will
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
the underlying cause and the opinion
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
it is human society’s greatest concern. The
world
Use synonyms
before was restricting the
population
Use synonyms
to grow.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
situations are unlikely
happens
Change the verb form
to happen
show examples
anymore.
Instead
Linking Words
, the proportions are now getting larger
while
Linking Words
the reasons
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
vary; the strict rules on abortion in some religions,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
financial struggle in accessing or being educated about birth control which are often found in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries or some
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
the rest of the
world
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
factually facing
Correct article usage
an ‘aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
society’ issue, the
population
Use synonyms
research in many countries in East Asia, Europe, and Northern America often illustrates the number of people in their 50 and older proportions
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
larger than the 50 years old and below,
this
Linking Words
indicates that the younger generation rate of birth
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
far less than their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
generations. The most recognisable case is what Japan are facing now; the conditions are not supporting their residents to have children at all; over workload,
high
Correct word choice
and high
show examples
cost of living making it difficult to raise kids.
This
Linking Words
consequence is considered
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major problem in their country because it might be difficult to propel their country. It might be true that
population
Use synonyms
overgrowth is concerning and needs
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
careful
inspections
Correct the article-noun agreement
inspection
show examples
, yet, not all
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
world
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
experiencing the same thing; many countries are
are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
facing what is the opposite and
also
Linking Words
need to tackle
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure your essay directly answers each part of the question. Your introduction is promising, but make sure your conclusion clearly states your stance on whether the population rise is humanity's greatest problem.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more structured progression of ideas throughout your essay. Using paragraphs to clearly separate different points can enhance clarity and flow.
task response
Include more specific examples to support your points. This adds depth to your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of your spelling and grammar. Small errors can distract from your message, so taking time to proofread can improve the overall quality of your essay.
task response
Your introduction set a strong foundation for discussing the topic at hand.
task response
You've effectively outlined several causes for the population rise, showing your understanding of the topic's complexity.
task response
Your essay includes a good balance of discussing both sides of the argument, which shows a thoughtful approach to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: