IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

the best way to solve the environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cost #fuel
There is an opinion in the society that increasing the cost of fuel can solve the
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues.I partly agree with
this
 idea because I believe that
this
 tactic can help mitigate the impact on the environment, but there may be other ways to do
this
. In
this
 essay, I plan to explore a few thoughts of mine about
this
 phenomenon.
Firstly
, the most prominent factor in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
 point of view is the possible reduction of the number of vehicles fueled with gas, and, as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, the reduction of the exhaust they emit.
While
this
 can lead to less carbon footprint, I still believe that there are more effective
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 to deal with
this
 dilemma.
For example
, improving the transportation system through the development of public transport
such
 as trains and buses can lead people to prefer these modes of commuting to private cars. Obviously, our nature will benefit from
this
.
Secondly
, the above-mentioned strategy of higher prices will plausibly cause
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 additional financial burden on
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Moreover
, the higher
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of fuel, the higher
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of
depended
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
manufacturerers
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
, and,
consequently
, the higher
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of their products.
This
 sounds
doubfully
Correct your spelling
doubtfully
doubtful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 me.
Instead
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
, the government can include subjects
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the school curriculum to foster
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 responsible attitude towards our planet.
For instance
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various events that will
explain
Add the preposition
explain to
show examples
 children the advantages of using velocycles can result in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 cars on the streets in the future.
To conclude
,
expencive
Correct your spelling
expensive
 gas can partially solve the problem of pollution.
On the contrary
, governments can maintain more productive politics
such
 as the above-mentioned ones to deal with
this
 scourge of our planet.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language usage
To further improve your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to add complexity and sophistication to your arguments.
Argument depth
While your main ideas are supported, adding more detailed examples and evidence could strengthen your arguments and make your points more convincing.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos. Proofreading your essay will help improve its overall clarity and professionalism.
Structural Clarity
Your essay presents a clear structure, effectively using paragraphs to differentiate your main points.
Balanced Argumentation
You have provided a balanced view on the topic, considering both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking skills.
Effective Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively encapsulate your main points and stance on the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!