IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a larger collection of paper books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #focus #resources #collection #paper #books
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With the advancements made in technology, there has been a change in people’s reading habits. It is generally believed that libraries’ focus should be on the development of technological resources
instead
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 of enlarging the collection of printed
sources
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. I totally disagree with
this
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 for two main reasons. One of the reasons why I disagree is that a reduction in the production of paper
books
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 can leave the originality of the work at risk. Printed
books
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 not only contain information about a specific sphere or topic
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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, reflect the culture and the era they are produced. They can give a sense of the designs
,
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apply
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 or the materials used for
books
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 by publishers of the time, which might arouse enthusiasm in readers as they can touch and feel
while
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 reading. Take manuscripts as examples, which are often admired by fans because of the authenticity of the content that has never been changed by other authors.
Hence
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, copying them into a digital form can impact the reputation of libraries where rare
sources
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 are often believed to be kept in physical form.
However
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, I admit that modern ways of preserving materials can create certain advantages like compressed files, minimal space, and expenses.
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However
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However,
show examples
 the convenience and portability of physical
sources
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 make libraries popular among the users where they can feel these. They can check the
books
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 out and use them at home
according to
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 personal timetables or
due to
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 the compact size they can even take them to places where they are truly free and comfortable.
In contrast
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, electronic
sources
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 are not always allowed to be copied or used outside the library premises.
Moreover
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, online
books
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 cause more harm to human health than their physical counterparts, which can especially be seen in the deterioration of eyesight because of excessive screen time. In conclusion,
although
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 a few benefits are possible through the development of technological resources, I fully disagree that
this
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 should be at the cost of
sources
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 in printed forms.
Submitted by hamzayevasamina on

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coherence cohesion
Include more diverse connecting devices to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to present counterarguments more clearly to enhance the balance of your essay and demonstrate thorough consideration of the topic.
task achievement
Consider incorporating direct examples from contemporary or historical contexts to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay successfully introduces the topic and provides a clear opinion, which is consistent throughout the text.
coherence cohesion
You provided a logical structure that helps readers follow your argument with clear paragraphing.
coherence cohesion
Your examples, such as the value of manuscripts and the physical experience of reading books, effectively support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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