Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, there is a growing trend of migration towards big

cities

for settlement and employment opportunities. In

this

essay, I will discuss both perspectives on

this

phenomenon and provide my own opinion. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages to living and working in a vertical city.

Firstly

, individuals have the opportunity to work for corporations that are typically housed in skyscrapers,

such

as Sony, Apple, Amazon, and others.

This

can enhance their social status

due to

the prestige associated with these corporations.

Furthermore

, there are more options for housing in multistory buildings, which offer convenience and access to the latest technologies, leading to a higher standard of living.

On the other hand

, the concentration of tall buildings in

cities

results in higher population density.

Consequently

, in the future, overcrowding may become a significant issue compared to

cities

with more horizontal expansion.

Moreover

, living in a vertical city often leads to time pressures, as individuals are occupied with their jobs, compounded by frequent traffic congestion during commutes.

This

can have a direct negative impact on their physical and mental well-being. In conclusion,

while

living in a vertical city offers benefits

such

as job opportunities and social advancement, it

also

brings challenges like high population density and work-related stress.

Therefore

, it is important to carefully consider both the advantages and disadvantages before making decisions about settling in big

cities

Submitted by cathyngo1512 on Tue Apr 23 2024

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Specific Examples

To further improve, consider integrating more specific examples and details to solidify your discussion points. While broad statements about the perks and pitfalls of living in vertical cities are effective, the addition of more concrete examples or statistics could make your argument even more compelling.

Personal Insight

Your essay would benefit from a bit more exploration of your own stance. Though you've provided a summary of your viewpoint in the conclusion, expanding on why you hold that opinion, possibly with personal insights or broader societal implications, would enhance the overall task response.

Logical Structure

Well-structured essay, exhibiting clear organization of ideas which aids in reader comprehension.

Introduction & Conclusion

Effective use of an introductory and concluding paragraph to frame your essay.

Supported Main Points

Your main points were clearly supported throughout, helping maintain a coherent argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the internet is the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people think it is necessary, but others hold that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.