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Band 6

Some people believe that it is better to live and work in a vertical city with multiple tall buildings, as compared to a horizontal city with fewer tall buildings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #city #buildings
Nowadays, there is a growing trend of migration towards big
cities
 for settlement and employment opportunities. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives on
this
 phenomenon and provide my own opinion. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages to living and working in a vertical city.
Firstly
, individuals have the opportunity to work for corporations that are typically housed in skyscrapers,
such
 as Sony, Apple, Amazon, and others.
This
 can enhance their social status
due to
 the prestige associated with these corporations.
Furthermore
, there are more options for housing in multistory buildings, which offer convenience and access to the latest technologies, leading to a higher standard of living.
On the other hand
, the concentration of tall buildings in
cities
 results in higher population density.
Consequently
, in the future, overcrowding may become a significant issue compared to
cities
 with more horizontal expansion.
Moreover
, living in a vertical city often leads to time pressures, as individuals are occupied with their jobs, compounded by frequent traffic congestion during commutes.
This
 can have a direct negative impact on their physical and mental well-being. In conclusion,
while
 living in a vertical city offers benefits
such
 as job opportunities and social advancement, it
also
 brings challenges like high population density and work-related stress.
Therefore
, it is important to carefully consider both the advantages and disadvantages before making decisions about settling in big
cities
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Specific Examples
To further improve, consider integrating more specific examples and details to solidify your discussion points. While broad statements about the perks and pitfalls of living in vertical cities are effective, the addition of more concrete examples or statistics could make your argument even more compelling.
Personal Insight
Your essay would benefit from a bit more exploration of your own stance. Though you've provided a summary of your viewpoint in the conclusion, expanding on why you hold that opinion, possibly with personal insights or broader societal implications, would enhance the overall task response.
Logical Structure
Well-structured essay, exhibiting clear organization of ideas which aids in reader comprehension.
Introduction & Conclusion
Effective use of an introductory and concluding paragraph to frame your essay.
Supported Main Points
Your main points were clearly supported throughout, helping maintain a coherent argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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