Task 2. Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? please write a task 2 ielts in intermadiete level

Some
people
believe that too much focus is placed on the
education
of
students
, and
governments
should allocate more funds for free
time
activities
for young
people
.
While
education
is undeniably important for a successful future, I believe that investing in free
time
activities
is equally crucial for the
overall
development of young individuals.
To begin
with,
education
plays a vital role in shaping the future of
students
by equipping them with
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
and skills necessary for their careers.
Governments
spend significant money on schools, universities, and learning resources to ensure young
people
have access to quality
education
.
However
, too much emphasis on academics can create pressure and stress for
students
, leading to mental health issues.
For instance
,
students
in highly competitive environments often face burnout, which can negatively impact their performance and well-being.
On the other hand
, free
time
activities
,
such
as sports, art, and music, provide young
people
with opportunities to relax, explore their interests, and develop social skills. These
activities
not only promote physical and mental health but
also
teach teamwork, creativity, and problem-solving, which are essential for life.
For example
, participating in sports improves physical fitness and fosters a sense of discipline,
while
engaging in art or music enhances creativity and emotional expression.
Moreover
, providing free
time
activities
for young
people
can help reduce negative
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
such
as delinquency and substance abuse. When young individuals have access to productive and enjoyable pastimes, they are less likely to engage in harmful
activities
.
Governments
can achieve
this
by building sports facilities, funding art programs, and creating community
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
where young
people
can spend their free
time
constructively. In conclusion,
while
education
is a key priority for any government, it is important to strike a balance by allocating funds for free
time
activities
. These
activities
play a crucial role in fostering a well-rounded, healthy, and happy generation.
Therefore
, I partially agree with the idea that
governments
should spend more on free
time
activities
alongside
education
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Make sure to further develop your key points, considering different perspectives and counterarguments. This will help strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing your coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Consider supporting your arguments with more detailed examples or anecdotes to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly structured your essay with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by acknowledging the importance of both education and free time activities.

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