Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.
In modern days, an issue
such
as the rising amount workers like professors and medics departing their poorly developed home nations to work in a
more advanced countries is becoming a concern for various governments. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
This
essay will look into the problems this
will cause and how it could be solved.
The main issue is that the specialists leaving their communities would lead to the shortage of manpower in some of the jobs, not only that, but the abscence
of employees would lead to their area of expertise dipping in priority for funding and Correct your spelling
absence
further
refinement. For instance
, linguist teachers of
Kazakhstan are moving away from their homeland in search of better Change preposition
in
opportinuties
in neighboring regions, namely Turkey or China. Correct your spelling
opportunities
This
dilemma could be tackled by giving out better salaries for the staff as well as
expanding their branches of service,
so that more people would be attracted Remove the comma
apply
in
the job.
The most viable solution is working crew may go away from their birthplace because of the poor environment, Change preposition
to
furthermore
the obsolete facilities may reinforce Add a comma
furthermore,
this
idea. This
would lead to the slower improvement of the developing state. For example
, Kazakh hospitals are quite outdated, in addition
to most of the personnal
consisting of previous Correct your spelling
personal
personnel
generation which
would retire in the near future. To solve Fix the agreement mistake
generations who
this
complication, national
government could provide upgraded workplaces for the workers Add an article
the national
besides
imposing a mandatory service of 2 to 4 years.
In conclusion, the disappearence
of labour can lead to a number of Correct your spelling
disappearance
trouble
Fix the agreement mistake
troubles
such
as the lack of manpower and capable experts as well as
stop the development of a young sovereign state which could be solved by rasing
labour conditions, Correct your spelling
raising
give
larger sums of money for working cadre, Wrong verb form
giving
in addition
to enlarging their branches, as well as
imposing a mandatory service for the workers.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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Language Use
To improve your score, work on varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Development
Consider providing more in-depth analysis of the examples you choose. While the examples from Kazakhstan are relevant, expanding on these with more detail and explaining how they directly relate to the broader issues could strengthen your argument.
Accuracy
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensure consistency in tense and subject-verb agreement. These small errors can detract from the overall clarity of your message.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend your essay, providing a strong framework for your argument.
Content
You've done well to identify and explain the key issues related to the migration of professionals from developing to developed countries.
Examples
Using Kazakhstan as a specific example is a good strategy to provide concrete evidence supporting your points.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...