Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.

#numbers #profession #doctors #teachers #countries #work

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In modern days, an issue

such

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as the rising amount workers like professors and medics departing their poorly developed home nations to work in

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

more advanced countries is becoming a concern for various governments.

This

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essay will look into the problems

this

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will cause and how it could be solved. The main issue is that the specialists leaving their communities would lead to the shortage of manpower in some of the jobs, not only that, but the

abscence

Correct your spelling

absence

of employees would lead to their area of expertise dipping in priority for funding and

further

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refinement.

For instance

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, linguist teachers

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Kazakhstan are moving away from their homeland in search of better

opportinuties

Correct your spelling

opportunities

in neighboring regions, namely Turkey or China.

This

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dilemma could be tackled by giving out better salaries for the staff

as well as

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expanding their branches of service

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apply

show examples

so that more people would be attracted

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show examples

the job. The most viable solution is working crew may go away from their birthplace because of the poor environment,

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furthermore

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furthermore,

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the obsolete facilities may reinforce

this

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idea.

This

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would lead to the slower improvement of the developing state.

For example

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, Kazakh hospitals are quite outdated,

in addition

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to most of the

personnal

Correct your spelling

personal

personnel

consisting of previous

generation which

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generations who

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would retire in the near future. To solve

this

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complication,

national

Add an article

the national

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government could provide upgraded workplaces for the workers

besides

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imposing a mandatory service of 2 to 4 years. In conclusion, the

disappearence

Correct your spelling

disappearance

of labour can lead to a number of

trouble

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troubles

show examples

such

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as the lack of manpower and capable experts

as well as

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stop the development of a young sovereign state which could be solved by

rasing

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

labour conditions,

give

Wrong verb form

giving

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larger sums of money for working cadre,

in addition

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to enlarging their branches,

as well as

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imposing a mandatory service for the workers.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Tue Apr 23 2024

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Language Use

To improve your score, work on varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Development

Consider providing more in-depth analysis of the examples you choose. While the examples from Kazakhstan are relevant, expanding on these with more detail and explaining how they directly relate to the broader issues could strengthen your argument.

Accuracy

Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensure consistency in tense and subject-verb agreement. These small errors can detract from the overall clarity of your message.

Structure

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively bookend your essay, providing a strong framework for your argument.

Content

You've done well to identify and explain the key issues related to the migration of professionals from developing to developed countries.

Examples

Using Kazakhstan as a specific example is a good strategy to provide concrete evidence supporting your points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there is more advantage to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of great responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?