Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

essay, we believe that

art

is overly important for the development of children's cognitive skills and social interaction, especially when it is taught at a young age,

hence

we advocate in

this

paper for the mandatory implementation of

art

in every primary school.

Art

allows students to be creative and resourceful, not just in other academic subjects but in life’s situations, and it is because

art

is not just about learning accumulated knowledge, but about creating new ones,

therefore

, we believe

art

is crucial in the development of our society since it pushes individuals to come up with new ideas that can be beneficial thereof and the whole world. As we all know, the most prosperous societies throughout history are those that have come out with the best ideas, and in

this

era where people are facing new challenges,

such

as drug addiction, depression, or anxiety, we need

art

more than ever, to create new views of how understanding the world, and what is more, to ourselves. In conclusion,

art

is important because it helps students to perform better not just in other subjects but in situations of real life, and it is because

art

can develop student creativity by stimulating their cognitive process within their brain,

besides

, having creative people in a society, is of vital importance because it helps with the development of the society itself, of the individual itself, and the whole world.

Submitted by franciscojavierlang on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance the task response score, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by presenting a balanced argument or a clear stance. Incorporate more specific examples that are directly related to the significance of music, art, and drama in schools, rather than focusing broadly on art.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by connecting your ideas more effectively. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Also, organize your arguments in a way that builds logically from one to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

238 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Most people agree that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think people can be happy without money? What other factors contribute toward happiness?

Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally why do people buy imported food what could be done to encourage people to buy local food

Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?