Governments should spend money on rai/ways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #rai #roads

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The statement whether the governments should allocate their money

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making roads or railways is often debated in the community. Some people think that prioritizing the

road

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making will

improving

Wrong verb form

improve

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many

sector

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sectors

show examples

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the

city

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where the

road

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made. I firmly

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

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prioritizing the

road

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to be made is the best way to accelerate the development of the country.

Firstly

Linking Words

, investment in

roads

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road

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development will

improving

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improve

be improving

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the economic sector

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every

city

Use synonyms

where the

road

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passed

Wrong verb form

passes

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. The

road

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will connect one

city

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to one another and it will make many

tourist

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tourists

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come to visit. It will lead many markets to open and increase their sale which will make a significant rise in the regional minimum wage.

For example

Linking Words

, the new

road

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that opened

last

Linking Words

year that

connect

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connects

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Cirebon to Bandung has reduced the time trip

for

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almost 50% and it made many people visit Cirebon for just an

ocassional

Correct your spelling

occasional

lunch.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the construction of the roads will facilitate the transportation of the goods,

such

Linking Words

as vegetables and diaries

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

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. It will link the customer and the producer directly and make it more cost-effective because the price will

somehow

Add a missing verb

be somehow

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cheaper.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the development of the

road

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will reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

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congestion and the delivery time from the

city

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to rural

area

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areas

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will be faster than before. It will improve the

wellbeing

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well-being

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and health of the rural areas because their goods can come within an hour. In conclusion,

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

road

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constrution

Correct your spelling

construction

takes a long time to finish, it will eventually

improving

Change the form of the verb

improve

show examples

the

economic

Replace the word

economy

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and health

sector

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sectors

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in the country.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Apr 23 2024

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Lexical Resource

Try to use a broader range of vocabulary to strengthen your argument. While your ideas are clear, more varied language can add depth to your essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Ensure to check your writing for minor grammatical errors. Although they do not majorly disrupt the readability, maintaining accuracy helps to convey your ideas more effectively.

Task Response

Consider exploring both sides of the argument, even if you have a strong position. This can provide a more balanced view and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

You've effectively used examples to support your points, which makes your argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay shows good logical flow and structure, which helps in making your argument coherent and easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Governments should spend money on rai/ways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs such as heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to buy drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and use of hard drugs should be applied to all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?

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Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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