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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given graph illustrates how many
residents
Use synonyms
 of 5 cities in Australia: Sydney, Melbourne,
Brisbane
Use synonyms
,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and Hobart bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed, that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 in all cities preferred visiting a cafe to buy
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea, except
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, where buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
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 was more popular.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data, more than 60% of
people
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Hobart went to a cafe to buy
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea. It is almost identical to Sydney. 55% of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 visited a cafe to buy drinks,
while
Linking Words
 it was less popular in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, showing a little less than 50% of
people
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, giving its lead position to buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
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. The highest indicator of buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 is in Hobart - around 55%, which is about the same as in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
. The half of
residents
Use synonyms
 in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
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, which was the most popular there. Buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in all cities is less widespread than other buying habits, but the highest popularity showed in Sydney, where almost 45% of
residents
Use synonyms
 bought it in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks.
In contrast
Linking Words
, buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 is the least popular in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
, where the number of
residents
Use synonyms
 was only 35%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words residents, brisbane, adelaide, coffee, people, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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