In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

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Being a homeowner is more vital for individuals than living in rental houses in specific countries. The reason for

this

Linking Words

belief may vary, but the benefits of renting are far greater for people struggling

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

basic needs and have trouble

to save

Change the verb form

saving

show examples

some cash. Many believe that buying a place to live is an excellent investment in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

long term. Because the worth of it will be increasing

year

Use synonyms

year

Use synonyms

and eventually become more than the initial price that they bought for.

For example

Linking Words

, my grandfather invested in property in the countryside in his early

20's

Change noun form

20s

show examples

. As time went by and the city started to expand towards it, a once cheap land became a

valubale

Correct your spelling

valuable

one.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

not everybody is

this

Linking Words

lucky, or, has that amount of money early in her

life

Use synonyms

. Particularly, young citizens who are struggling with multiple hardships in their

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, simply do not have the facilities to get their own

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many of them

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

trouble

to pay

Change the verb form

paying

show examples

college fees or other needs.

Thus

Linking Words

renting a cheap flat that could support them

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

give them

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shelter and potentially save them from the headache of taxes or maintaining a house

Change preposition

show examples

their own.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they could save their money and use it in the future.

For instance

Linking Words

, Mark

Zakerberg

Correct your spelling

Zuckerberg

did not have his own home early in his

life

Use synonyms

and was living in a dorm, but nowadays he is a millionaire.

To conclude

Linking Words

, even though the

possibilty

Correct your spelling

possibility

of being a homeowner is great,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

not everyone can afford that, especially early in their

life

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, living in rental houses is a feat for

younglin's

Change the capitalization

Younglin's

show examples

hard conditions.

Overall

Linking Words

, the graph

portay's

Correct your spelling

portrays

portray's

the popularity of serving

coffee

Use synonyms

shops among other methods in all the cities. With the steady rise of instant

coffee

Use synonyms

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

in the cities. And the Freshly harvested

coffee

Use synonyms

fluctuating

Wrong verb form

fluctuates

show examples

among them. Coffeeshops are the most popular in almost every city with Melbourne and Hobart having the highest

precentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

of almost 65

precent

Correct your spelling

per cent

. With the exception of Adelaide, being

also

Linking Words

the lowest falling behind

Change preposition

by 50

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

and overtaken by instant

coffee

Use synonyms

. Quickly served

coffees

Fix the agreement mistake

coffee

show examples

hit an Many believe that buying a place to live is an excellent investment in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

long term. Because the worth of it will be increasing

year

Use synonyms

year

Use synonyms

and eventually become more than the initial price that they bought for.

For example

Linking Words

, my grandfather invested in property in the countryside in his early

20's

Change noun form

20s

show examples

. As time went by and the city started to expand towards it, a once cheap land became a

valubale

Correct your spelling

valuable

one.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

not everybody is

this

Linking Words

lucky, or, has that amount of money early in her

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by soroush.nezami on Tue Apr 23 2024

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Relevance

Make sure your essay stays on topic throughout. The paragraph related to coffee shops seems out of place and doesn't contribute to the main discussion about the importance of owning a home versus renting. Consider removing unrelated content to maintain focus.

Structure

Your introduction and conclusion could be stronger. The introduction could better outline the points you plan to discuss, and the conclusion could more effectively summarize your arguments and state your own opinion on the matter.

Coherence

For coherence and cohesion, work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Use transition words and sentences to guide the reader through your arguments. This will make your essay easier to follow and enhance its logical flow.

Cohesion

Adding more varied and complex sentence structures can enrich your writing and better engage the reader. Experiment with different types of sentences to avoid repetitiveness.

Support

While you provided a relevant personal example to support your point, incorporating a broader range of examples or evidence could strengthen your arguments. Consider including statistics, studies, or more diverse personal or observed examples.

Example Use

You provided a compelling personal example with your grandfather's investment in property, effectively illustrating your point about the potential long-term benefits of owning a home.

Topic Understanding

You have a clear understanding of the topic and its implications, demonstrated by your ability to discuss both the advantages of home ownership and the practical benefits of renting for certain individuals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

442 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays an increasing number of people change their career and place of residence several times during life. Is this a positive or negative development?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art evrnts. Do you agree or disagree ?