People living in rural areas should prioritize sustainable agriculture practices rather than relying heavily on industrial farming. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a debate about whether rural residents should adopt sustainable
agriculture
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practices
instead
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of relying on industrial farming. In my opinion, people living in rural areas mainly rely on farming for their livelihoods.
Therefore
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, in order to ensure that future generations can continue farming and prevent environmental degradation, they should adopt sustainable
agriculture
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practices. First of all, sustainable
agriculture
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benefits rural environments through a reduction in chemical
fertilizers
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fertilisers
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and pesticides, thereby leading to lower levels of water and
soil
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pollution, as fewer harmful substances are released into the ecosystem.
This
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is particularly important because these chemicals often accumulate in the
soil
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and water over time, causing long-term environmental damage.
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,
soil
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and water are better preserved and maintain their quality, which helps ensure that farmland remains fertile and productive. In the long run,
this
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allows
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agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
land to support farming activities for future generations.
However
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, industrial farming can cause significant environmental damage as
its
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it
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relies heavily on large-scale machinery powered by fossil fuels. These machines are used intensively throughout the farming process, which significantly increases energy consumption.
As a result
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,
this
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leads to high levels of greenhouse
has
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gas
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emissions, particularly carbon dioxide, thereby contributing to global warming.
This
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is a serious global issue as rising temperatures are associated with more frequent extreme weather events
such
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as heatwaves, droughts, and floods, which can affect both the environment and food production systems.
To sum up
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, I agree that rural residents should focus on sustainable
agriculture
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rather than industrial farming, as it helps protect the environment and maintain long-term
soil
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productivity,
whereas
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industrial farming leads to pollution and environmental degradation.

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task response
Add one more clear idea about why green farming is good for village people, not only for land but also for income or health.
task response
Use a more direct answer in the first line, such as 'I strongly agree', so your position is very clear from the start.
task response
Give one short real-world example to support your point. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Link the second body paragraph more clearly to your main opinion. Now it mostly explains the harm of factory farming, but it should connect back to why village people should choose the other way.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Break a few of them into shorter parts so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar and word form errors like 'its relies' and 'agriculture land'. These small problems can make the flow weaker.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
The first body paragraph supports your main view well and stays on topic.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'First of all', 'However', 'As a result', and 'To sum up' to guide the reader.
task response
Your main opinion is consistent through the essay.
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