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Band 5

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative duvelopment?

#tasks #home #work #robots #duvelopment
Due to
 the development of technologies and AI, individuals have contributed to the popularity by applying
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 daily house
chores
 or
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
.
Although
 it allows users to have more spare
time
 which is essential for everyone,
on the other hand
, it might encourage
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will examine
both
 the advantages and disadvantages of the dilemma and provide examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 trend. One of the most priority aspects of using technology is the fact that it supports industries or individuals in their daily lives by providing them unlimited parts, which they will not be able to use if they do the process without types of equipment.
In other words
,
people
 find it tediously to waste
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
such
 short precious
time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing household tasks. Regarding companies, computers are able to
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Automate routine tasks and speed up processes, which is
also
 essential.
As a consequence
, in summary, I used to spend seven hours per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
week in order to wash dishes,
clothes
Correct word choice
and clothes
show examples
, and vacuuming,
while
 nowadays I rely on robots which do it
both
 thoroughly and effectively for
myself
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
, who can invest the seven hours in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
such
 a way as I prefer.
Thus
, technologies allow us to have more periods or do a number of phalanges faster.
On the other hand
, there are a majority
cons
Change preposition
of cons
show examples
 of
this
 development. If
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rely on technology, they will have some problems with their health. Today, in
this
 rapidly evolving world,
people
 find themselves with no
time
 for engaging in
both
 basic or complicated sports activities.
As a consequence
, domestic
chores
such
 as garden labour have become kind a response
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the issue. If its
chores
 are not done by
people
, it will damage
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health.
For example
, I have neither the financial resources nor
time
 in order to go to the gym, so on
weekends
Add a comma
weekends,
show examples
 I clean my house by myself. It allows me to not care about my weight and muscles.
Therefore
, domestic
chores
 had been traded into society by playing
role
Add an article
a role
the role
show examples
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
. In conclusion, by taking
both
 sides into account I think that If
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
 using AI is gaining popularity, individuals should be aware of limits,
otherwise
 negative sides of
this
 issue
occurs
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Development and support
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are fully developed. Some points may need further explanation to fully support your argument.
Language variety
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your writing more engaging.
Grammar and accuracy
Be cautious with your grammar and punctuation. While your essay is largely understandable, minor errors can slightly obscure your meaning. Reviewing subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and the placement of modifiers could be beneficial.
Task Response
You have clearly addressed the task by discussing both the positives and negatives associated with the increasing use of robots for tasks at home and at work.
Structure
Your essay benefits from a good introduction and conclusion, framing your argument effectively.
Examples usage
You have used examples effectively to support your points, which helps to make your argument more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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